New Day Rising
by Scyllaya
Summary: Dean's life does not look good at all, and that's putting it mildly. He's lost everything that he ever cared for. He's tired of his life, frankly, he's tired of everything, but things are about to change beyond his imagination. It all starts with an unexpected one-night stand, and a new job at a strange music shop, with an even stranger owner. NC-17, AU, slash
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** New Day Rising

**Author:** scyllaya

**Artist:** lynndyre

**Rating:** NC-17

**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Gabriel/Dean, OCs

**Warning(s):** graphic sexual content, mentions of past major character deaths, depressed!Dean, some H/C, umm… spiders?

**Spoiler(s):** none, AU

**Word Count:** ~ 26 400

**Summary:** Dean's life does not look good at all, and that's putting it mildly. He's lost everything that he ever cared for. He's tired of his life, frankly, he's tired of everything, but things are about to change beyond his imagination. He needs to learn that the world is not the place he believed it to be, and that there is still more to life for him than just guilt and misery. It all starts with an unexpected one-night stand, and a new job at a strange music shop, with an even stranger owner.

**Beta:** uliamos

**Author's Notes:** I'd like to thank first of all my dear beta uliamos for her work and my awesome artist lynndyre who came up with such creative fanart for my fic. Thank you both.

And as always, I am very grateful my twitter and tumblr followers who are kind enough to put up with my writer rants, I thank you all.

****Written for the 2012 debriel-mini at Livejournal.

Chapter One

x-x-x

The thing about Dean was that no matter what he did or didn't do, people saw him as a bad guy. Not the "bad boy" version girls fell for either, but the "actually dangerous and most likely violent" version. It was a load of bullshit. Sure, he played the tough guy part for most of his life, but he could always rely on his charming smile and easy laugh to fall back on when he wanted to show a kinder side. Not so much nowadays.

It's not like he didn't want to flirt and joke around, smile with ease or laugh until his stomach hurt, but… he just couldn't. Not for a long time now. So with all that easy air gone, his disarming charm tucked away so deep that even he didn't know where it was, people tended to be weary around him. He was 6'1, had plenty of muscle on his frame, wore mostly leather jackets and drove a big black '67 Chevy Impala, add a dark expression and people immediately didn't like being around him. Oh yeah, and there was that scar next to his eye, just to make his "image" complete.

And to be fair, there were enough dark spots in his past for him to believe that he deserved the weary looks and suspicious whispers. He hurt people – people who very much deserved it though – and committed enough pity crimes to be just one step away from prison. It was mostly luck – and a great lawyer – he could thank, that he never found himself behind bars. It didn't matter why he did any of it though, he had his reasons, he had his duties, it had to be done, he was not ashamed. He was mostly just tired, more tired than anyone ever had any reason to be on their 30th birthday.

He lost count of how many drinks he had ordered already and he really didn't care. The alcohol burned down his throat just the right way, Dean knew it wouldn't burn away the pain or purify him of anything, but it felt good. His muscles relaxed slightly after a while and he could shove down most of his dark thoughts as well. Lately, this was the only way he could do that. Hell, maybe he's gonna manage to sleep for more than a few hours tonight, that would be an awesome birthday present.

His glass was empty again. He contemplated whether to order another one or just get the hell out and buy a full bottle at some liquor store. He was pretty sure the patrons of the bar would prefer the latter option. Before he could decide a glass was put down in front of him. Dean looked up and found himself staring at a smile. It kinda startled him, even if he knew his face didn't betray that. The smile belonged to a man with dirty gold hair and – maybe it was just the lights in the bar – almost golden looking eyes, mid-thirties maybe, or a bit older, it was hard to tell. Dean didn't notice him inside earlier, not that he paid much attention after he had sat down, so the guy must've arrived after him. He didn't look out of place in his jeans, plaid shirt and denim jacket. He was holding another glass in his hand. Dean looked at him for a very long moment, but the smile didn't vanish and the guy didn't look intimidated, Dean wasn't even sure whether he wanted to intimidate the guy or he just stared in surprise.

'You look like someone who could use another drink and even maybe some company,' the guy said. His voice and tone were light and cheerful, Dean wondered if he was maybe drunk, but his eyes were clear and sharp as glass, so that was not it.

'You're right about the drink,' Dean replied. The guy chuckled and slid the glass closer to him before sitting down at the small table.

'My company is the bonus,' he smirked. Dean just looked at him for another moment before picking the glass up. 'So… what's the occasion?' the guy asked after taking a sip from his own drink.

'Why do you think there is one?' Dean asked in return.

'One can always find one,' the guy answered with a shrug. 'But call it a hunch, I think you already have a reason.'

'Several,' Dean said.

'Pick one, I happen to be searching for a reason to drink.'

Dean thought about that, but thinking about all the reasons why he was sitting in this bar alone, downing drink after drink just made him want to continue until he was unconscious. He didn't want to think about it, so he settled for the simplest answer.

'It's my birthday,' he said with a tone that was the complete opposite of enthusiastic. It's not like he ever cared about birthdays, well maybe as a kid, but he could not remember many happy occasions there either.

The guy's smile widened predictably.

'Well, if that ain't a perfect reason to drink, I never heard one,' he said. 'To your health, mate,' he raised his glass and downed at least half of it in one go. He licked his thin lips after he put the glass down again and smiled. 'Name's Gabriel by the way,' he said and leaned forward to offer his hand. Dean was still slightly confused by the guy's sudden appearance, but hey, he bought him a drink.

'Dean,' he told him and took hold of Gabriel's hand to shake it. The other's grip was firm and warm, welcoming, just like his whole demeanor and body language. It was strange. People just didn't join him or started talking to him at bars, not anymore.

'So Dean, celebrating your birthday alone is completely unacceptable,' Gabriel said next. Dean raised his eyebrows and looked at him. 'But, you are a lucky man, my friend, because I happen to be free… and completely bored.'

'Look pal, I'm-'

'No, listen up,' Gabriel interrupted him. 'What's the alternative? You get a few more drinks here, or a bottle somewhere else, then go to bed, assumingly all by yourself.'

Dean took another large gulp from his drink at those words.

'Or, there's me,' the other offered with a smile. 'I've been told I'm an entertaining company.' Gabriel leaned forward again, resting his elbows on the tabletop. 'Besides, the beauty of drinking with strangers is that you know nothing about them, and they don't know anything about you… don't you find that… liberating?'

'Never heard that one before,' Dean said. In his book, strangers were usually marked as possibly dangerous or troublesome. He was taught from an early age to be weary of other people and he didn't mean the "don't talk to strangers" warning all kids learnt, more like the "shoot first, ask questions later" mantra. Looking at Gabriel though, he was shorter than Dean, less muscular, although that was hard to tell, with him still wearing his jacket. He looked, for all intents and purposes, relatively harmless. Not completely harmless, Dean never made the mistake to think someone to be completely harmless, unless he had proof of it. There was a confidence in Gabriel's body he picked up on, not to mention his eyes. Definitely not the 9 to 5 guy with a job at the office, but Dean had a hard time guessing what kind of guy he was instead. He had the guts to just stroll over to Dean and offer him a drink and company, so there had to be more to him than what he looked like.

'So what do you say?' Gabriel asked. 'How about you forget all your worries for the night?'

Dean still tried to figure him out, but there was nothing suspicious about him, besides the fact that he wanted to spend time with him of all people, that was weird.

'Let me get you another drink, and in the meantime you can decide whether I'm actually as entertaining company as I claim to be,' Gabriel offered with a raised eyebrow. Dean huffed and downed his current drink. Well, why the hell not, it's not like he couldn't take care of himself. Besides, free booze, that was always a plus.

'Sure, what the hell,' he answered and Gabriel grinned widely at his response. Weird guy.

x-x-x

'C'mon Dean-o… say it,' Gabriel purred in low voice, but Dean didn't really listen, the blood was rushing in his ears too loudly, his heartbeat was up in an erratic height too. How the hell was he supposed to pay attention to anything but the warm and wet feel of Gabriel's mouth, which thankfully engulfed him again after the words were whispered onto his sensitive skin. He didn't get it, he had blowjobs before, plenty, he could always keep it together, enjoy the pleasure with a reasonably clear head. So what was it about Gabriel that made his mouth dry, his skin hot, and turned his mind into a big pile of goo? He had no idea, and he didn't have the brain capacity to think about it. He was kinda drunk, but that wouldn't have explained it, he wasn't _that_ drunk. Oh, the fact that Gabriel seemed to do to him all the things he liked, when he liked it, and how he liked it, might've something to do with it.

Dean was still standing, somehow, his jeans down at his ankles, his bare legs trembling while trying desperately to hold him up. The wooden door at his back was still cool, and the frame gave him something to hold onto, a bit. Wet fingers teased his hole, again. They were not where he wanted them to be, where they were before, but Gabriel was a merciless tease and pulled them out now and again, much to Dean's frustration. The fact that Gabriel dipped his fingers down there almost as soon as Dean's jeans were open was surprising and arousing at the same time. Most people would never peg him for a bottom; he was big and bulky and sorta "macho and tough" looking. Most guys he's been with were eager to spread their legs or lift their asses up for him, wanting a good hard fuck from someone tall and strong like Dean. Sex was sex and he usually rolled with it, even if it didn't leave him half as satisfied as he wanted to be. Gabriel though… holy fucking shit, just pressed him to the door the second they were inside and took charge in a way Dean didn't even notice. By the time his mind caught up with him, reminding him of the vulnerable position he was getting into, the pleasure was enough to chase all such thoughts away.

Fingers were digging into his hip, surprisingly strong, keeping him in place, the other hand was still between his legs, stroking his sensitive balls, then dipping behind them to rub and tease at the already loosened muscle there. Gabriel's mouth was hot and tight and perfect and suddenly gone… again. His wet dick hit the cool air of the room, making him miss the slick heat terribly right away. Dean groaned in displeasure, and his hand dug into Gabriel's shoulder hard. Gabriel chuckled in a quiet way at the sound he made and licked at the underside of his cock again, a slow and deliberate lick that ended on the crown, teasing at the slit. Dean moaned again.

'Come on, Dean,' Gabriel breathed again and two of his fingers slipped inside of him with relative ease. Dean wanted to spread his legs wider reflexively, but with his jeans and boots still on, he couldn't. The fingers slid inside completely and Gabriel started to move them, in and out, his pace was not slow, but not fast enough either. Dean's hips pushed down on the fingers without his consent in search for more. What the hell was it about Gabriel that made him lose control this much? He was writhing and moaning like some cheap slut, just because of two fingers and Gabriel's hot delicious mouth and very talented tongue. The fingers moved inside him and Dean choked on a loud moan when they brushed the spot he really wanted to be touched inside, but again… Gabriel was a fucking tease and didn't give him what he so obviously wanted. Dean moved his hips as much as he could in Gabriel's grip, but it was not enough. His dick was hard and leaking, his body open and wet and willing… wanting, and he was still being teased, trapped by the door, almost bound in his own clothes.

'Can't we go to bed? Fuck….' he managed to say.

'Oh… bed you say?' Gabriel answered, his fingers moving constantly, he was spreading and twisting them around, but avoiding Dean's prostate still. 'And what should I do with you there?' he asked. 'Get you on your hands and knees? I bet you like to get it like that.'

Dean's mind supplied the mental image for that one immediately, if he could get any harder, he would.

'Or maybe you like being on your back more,' Gabriel mused conversationally. 'Legs spread wide, exposed… you could actually watch the way you're being filled.'

Gabriel leaned in close to slide his lips up and down on his dick again, just a little tease, just to keep him hard and excited. Not that he needed the extra touch with the kind of words that were spilling from Gabriel's lips. Some noise escaped Dean again, and Gabriel did press down onto the bundle of nerves inside him as a reply, which just made the small noise into a full-blown moan.

'Or maybe you'd like to ride me… what do you say, Dean-o? Do you want that? Pleasure _me_ with your body; use my cock to pleasure _yourself_.'

Dean's brain short-circuited for quite a few moments after that. His eyes snapped open when he felt the fingers pull out again and the next noise that came out of his mouth was something frighteningly similar to a whine. He looked down at the man in front of him and just panted as the golden eyes stared back at him. There was a wicked smile tugging at Gabriel's lips and a glint in his strange coloured eyes he couldn't identify.

'Say it, Dean… say it, and I'm giving you what you want… come on,' the man said, not taking his eyes off of him. Dean could pretend not to know what he wanted, but he did. He was not the kind of guy to say such things during sex, especially not with a one-night-stand, but fuck Gabriel was pushing all his buttons in all the right ways and he wanted more, he wanted to be filled and taken apart, it's been so long, and fucking hell he just wanted to be fucked so badly at this point. He hesitated for only a moment, but then the sight of Gabriel so close to his straining cock broke his resolve and he just didn't care. If that's what Gabriel got off on, he could have it.

'I want you… I'm yours,' he said, licking his dry lips. 'I belong to you… take me.'

Gabriel grinned wolfishly and gripped his hips with both hands to tug him down to the floor. Dean didn't even notice that his shoes and jeans were off already, not now when he was finally given what he craved.

x-x-x


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

x-x-x

Dean blinked open his eyes and recognized his bedroom ceiling and the smell and feel of his own bed after a few moments. After that came the feel of the state of his body. He was aching… everywhere. His thighs were tired, his muscles sore, his whole back hurt and his backside even more so, his skin felt tender and bruised on many places, his mouth especially. But all of that aside he felt an overwhelming sense of satisfaction. He was well rested too, which was weird considering last night. He definitely slept more than the handful of hours he managed most of the time. And holy shit, who gave a damn about sore muscles and bruises, when he had the best sex of his life. Some parts of the night felt like they were plucked straight out of his wet dreams or regular jerk-off fantasies. And to make it all better, he didn't even feel hungover, so that was great too. He did feel lazy though, not wanting to get out of bed just yet, and it's not like he had a job to worry about, so he didn't have a reason to get up.

He rolled over in his bed and stretched languidly, feeling his muscles stretch (and ache), his bones pop satisfyingly. His brain finally realized that he was alone in bed, which was not unusual, but he did not go to bed alone last night. Well, Gabriel obviously had seen himself out. Dean was not a big fan of morning-afters, so this was for the best, but... well, he could admit that it was not just sex, but phenomenal sex, and phenomenal sex was something he liked to have more than once. He should've asked for a phone-number, maybe Gabriel would've been willing to hook up again sometime. Oh well, nothing to do.

Despite feeling lazy Dean got up from bed and hit the shower to get on with his day. He didn't have a job, but he did need one, and he's not gonna find one without looking for it, and fast. He was way late with rent and he barely had enough cash to pay for gas, he loved his baby, but she was a monster when it came to consumption. The hot shower did wonders to his sore muscles and he felt fresh and alive when he stepped out of the bathroom. He put on some clean clothes he found and headed to the kitchen for some breakfast. He didn't buy coffee for a while now (he had to cut his costs), but luckily he did feel enough energy to move forward today without one. Seriously, he really needed last night, a great top to fuck him stupid, he couldn't really remember when the last time that happened was. If he thought about it, it was one of his best birthdays in a very long time. It was sure an awesome way to start his thirties. Hell, he was feeling friggin' optimistic today, and that usually didn't happen at all.

He drank a glass of water then turned to the fridge to see if there was anything edible in it, and he stopped short when he noticed the unfamiliar green note on the fridge-door. He plucked the note down and had the urge to smile. He didn't, but the urge was there and that was a novelty on its own.

_Catch you later, big boy  
206-697-7666  
~ GL_

x-x-x

Dean was about to put on his jacket and get on with his job hunting when the doorbell rang. He considered pretending not to be home, since most likely it was his landlady or the electric company, either way it meant people asking for money he didn't have. In the end he walked to the door quietly and cautiously peeked out on the peephole. A slender black guy stood outside – around forty maybe – in shiny black pants and a bright purple shirt. Considering that and the loose yellow tie he wore, Dean was pretty sure the guy was not from the electric company. As he opened the door the guy turned towards him and grinned widely, his white teeth in stark contrast with his dark skin.

'Yeah?' Dean asked, eyeing the guy.

'Dean Winchester,' the man spoke, his voice was smooth like old whiskey, deep and smoky, pleasant to the ear. It was not a question, so he came obviously looking for him. His stance was relaxed, but confident and he was staring at Dean with dark eyes that felt like they bore right into his skull. He was being observed in detail and taken stock of, like the man wasn't sure what to think of him yet.

'That's me,' Dean answered still.

'I know,' drawled the man, his grin never faltering.

'And you are?' Dean asked next, crossing his arms and scowling down at him. The guy was shorter, 5'7 maybe 5'8.

'Branan Simore,' he answered. 'You can call me Anan, Bran, Brany, Nansi, whichever you fancy best… I really don't have a preference. Although I've been kinda fond of Nansi lately, but then folk went on callin' me "Nancy", which is just rude if you ask me, not that I have anything against the name "Nancy" or any fine lady who's called Nancy, but it's not exactly suitable for a gentleman like me. Anyway, you can call me Nansi or Mr. Nansi if you manage to say it right, you Midwestern boys sometimes get it wrong and I really rather not be called Nancy again.'

Southern; that was Dean's first thought after hearing the man talk, Louisiana probably. Weird, that was his second thought. He blinked at the man after he fell silent and took a breath, trying to figure out what was going on.

'Okay, and what do you want?' he asked.

'Well, I'm your new boss of course,' Nansi replied.

'You're my what now?' Dean asked.

'You out of a job, right?'

'How do you…'

'So here I am, giving you a job… you ready to go?'

'Hold on, wait a second, I don't know who the hell are you. And how do you even know _me_? Or that I'm out of a job and… how did you know where I live?'

He had done weird jobs in the past, weird jobs for weird people, shady jobs for shady people, but this was strange even for him.

'Easy there buster,' laughed Nansi. 'I'm a friend of good-ol' Mr. Loge.'

'Who?'

'Gabriel Loge,' he repeated slowly, his grin transforming into a wide pleasant smile. Dean stared at him for a moment and just blinked in surprise. Ah, so that was Gabriel's surname, good to know.

'Gabriel sent you?' he asked.

'Not so much "sent me", but told me very pointedly that you needed a job and that I would like ya', so you should work for me… you're not annoying me for now, so far so good, we'll see the rest. So ready to go?'

Dean blinked again, searching for words.

'I don't even know what the job is, I don't even know if I _want_ to work for you,' he said finally.

'That black beauty out front… that yours?' Nansi asked. Dean frowned.

'Yeah?'

'It'd be a shame if you had to sell it, because of pesky money,' he said.

'I'm not selling my car,' Dean replied with certainty. He'd rather give up his apartment and everything else he owned, but not the Impala.

'Just sayin',' Nansi shrugged. 'I don't know if you got the luxury to say whether you wanna work or not.'

That was true enough, but Dean still didn't want to say it.

'You comin'?' asked Nansi as he backed away from the door, obviously not waiting any longer.

'Yeah alright,' Dean answered and grabbed his jacket, keys, and his phone, then locked the door behind him. Not every day comes a job offer to your home. He would be dumb to decline before even knowing what the job was. Nansi was already walking down the corridor towards the street, so Dean jogged to catch up with him.

'I can't believe Gabriel went ahead and got me a job… he didn't even leave that long ago.'

'It's your lucky day, kid,' Nansi replied easily. He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out his sunglasses, putting them on before stepping out into the morning light. Dean couldn't help but think that yeah, maybe it was.

x-x-x

Mr. Nansi had a music store, as it turned out. It was a small, homey little place, not the kind with high-tech music systems. There were CDs, but mostly old records and instruments of all kinds, some Dean had never even seen before. Sure he had seen guitars and drums and flutes and all the regular stuff, but there were also bells and all kinds of tribal looking things. The second he stepped into the store he was slammed in the face with colour. The walls were green and red and yellow, there were curtains and plants and vases in purple, brown and black, and the records and instruments and books around were even more colourful, gold, silver and slick brown or bright black, it was almost dazzling. The shop smelled like wood and grass and some sort of incense he couldn't recognize. It looked like the sort of place eccentric college kids visited.

Dean was not gonna lie to himself he expected something a little more… illegal, when Nansi showed up. He hasn't had an honest job in years, only one-time things that got him enough money to get by somehow. This was… a nice change, but had a too good to be true feeling to it so far.

The shop's name was _Spider's Den_ – also called "The Den" by their regulars according to Nansi – and it even had a bright red spider with green tribal markings as a logo.

'Since when do spiders live in a den?' was the first thing Dean said when he looked at the sign.

'Don't be stupid, spiders live everywhere, no?' answered Mr. Nansi. Dean didn't argue.

Inside he was still just looking around, taking in the shop and everything he saw, while Mr. Nansi walked behind the counter and turned on some music, jazz, which was not really surprising. Not Dean's kind of music, but it was still better than the trash that was called the "popular music" nowadays.

'So… um… you need help with the shop?'

'I need someone to run the shop,' Nansi replied. Dean looked around.

'I never worked in a music shop before,' he admitted honestly.

'You can learn… do you like music?'

'Yeah, sure, not this sort of music though.'

'What sort do you like then?'

'Classics… I mean classic rock, Zep, AC/DC, Metallica, Blue Öyster Cult, that sort of thing.'

Mr. Nansi leaned on the counter and pointed towards the far end of the records stand. Dean walked over and looked around, his eyes immediately landing on familiar covers. Led Zeppelin, The Who, Pink Floyd, Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix and The Doors, just a few he saw at first glance.

'Kind of an eccentric place, huh?' he asked.

'Unique,' Nansi answered.

'So, how come you're not running the place, you're the owner, right?'

'Yes, but I need to travel a lot for… business, and I need someone to be here for my costumers.'

'Yeah… right… I mean, I can do that… I mean, I have no idea what half of these are,' he pointed at the instruments. 'And… this is weird, you sure you want me talking with customers?'

'Why not?'

Dean thought that was fairly obvious, with the way he looked and talked and handled people. Hell, Gabriel knew it all too well, it was one of the things they talked about last night while drinking. It was beyond him how the man could've recommended him after all that.

'I'm not good with people,' Dean said simply. Nansi should know what he's getting, Dean's not gonna take shit for something he cannot change.

'Not a problem,' Nansi smiled with a look Dean couldn't understand, so he just stared back at him. There was pause where only the smooth sound of a saxophone was heard faintly from the speakers and Dean waited for him to say something else, but he didn't. Mr. Nansi pulled out a drawer and grabbed something and immediately threw it at Dean without warning. Dean caught it without problem. The object turned out to be a large keychain with keys in all size and shape, at least a dozen or more. Some were dark, rusty and big, some were shining silver with tiny engravings.

'See you later then,' Nansi said as he picked up a green suit jacket from a nearby coat-rack, and then got out from behind the counter.

'Wha—wait… shouldn't we like… talk about payment… or y'know… sign a contract first or something?'

Mr. Nansi smiled mysteriously and walked up to Dean and pulled out a piece of paper from his inner pocket, handing it over. Dean blinked in surprise then took it. It was a contract alright, a simple one at that, not the kind Dean was used to see, with all kinds of numbers and data and small print that screwed him over later.

'What's "the employer will provide a manner of compensation for all personal, corporeal and incorporeal difficulties"?

'Insurance,' Nansi replied.

'Health insurance?' Dean asked.

'That too.'

Dean went over the sentence again. It was a weird way to phrase it, but surely more easily understood than the usual legal jargon Dean hated with passion. The payment was at the bottom, right above where he needed to sign it. He felt his eyebrows rise up.

'That's more than I expected,' he admitted. He was pretty sure he shouldn't have said it though.

'Business runs well,' Nansi said with a nonchalant tone. Dean looked up at him from the paper. A pen was held out for him. He looked at the other man's smiling face for another moment. So this was a weird way to get a job, but he assumed this was how it went for those who were lucky enough to have connections. And weird or not, he really needed the money, so it's not like he could afford to say no. He took the pen.

'Don't we need three copies of this?' he asked as he turned to put the paper down to sign it.

'Nah,' shook Mr. Nansi his head. 'If you need a copy, let me know, why bother until then?'

Which was true enough, why bother with extra legal nonsense after all. Nansi stepped closer and signed the paper with a huge, very glamorous looking signature then he pocketed the pen and the contract again. He turned towards Dean with a bright grin and held out his hand. Dean shook it.

'Welcome,' Nansi said simply. Dean nodded, not knowing what to say. He probably should've thanked the man for giving him this job so easily, he most definitely had to call Gabriel and thank him for recommending him.

After they shook hands Mr. Nansi stepped back and headed towards the door.

'Have a nice first day then, kiddo,' he said and he was gone. Dean looked around the music shop awkwardly, not knowing where to start or what to do. He should explore, he decided. He needed to know what is what and where and all that. Jazz was still coming from the speakers so Dean decided that first he needed to find how to switch the music playing in the shop.

x-x-x


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

x-x-x

It was most definitely the weirdest first workday ever. The way Mr. Nansi just left him there should've been a warning. Sure, it was weird for the owner to leave the new employee alone like that, but after some thinking he figured, that since Nansi was a friend of Gabriel's, he probably trusted his judgment enough to leave Dean alone, even on the first day. He probably also had some urgent business to attend to, or maybe it was a test, to see how Dean could handle himself on his own. Maybe both. It didn't matter, he _could_ handle himself on his own.

He managed to find where to switch the music and decided to put on some fine tunes, rock of course, but nothing loud and heavy. After that he explored the shop with newfound energy. He found an old computer behind the counter, almost hidden completely from view, and while he was not the biggest technical man he could manage Windows… dude, Windows 98. His eyes widened rather comically when he saw that. He may have been a new employee, but he somehow had to get Nansi to get something newer. He said the business was good, so surely he could afford a new notebook or something. Probably the man just didn't bother with it.

The weirdness factor started when he found the terrariums. He was not a squeamish guy, he didn't mind bugs and stuff, but fucking spiders… a lot, and big ones. There were 6 separate terrariums altogether on different parts of the shop. One of them had a spider in it that was bigger than Dean's hand and that was saying something, the legs alone had to be like 12 inches each, it had a dark brown colour, almost black, it had light-brown markings on its legs too. Another glass terrarium had tiny colourful spiders in it, too many to count. A third one had so much spider-web, dirt and branches in it that Dean couldn't even see the spider – or spiders – in it. He just hoped they were still inside. The rest of the terrariums kinda had normal looking spiders in them, the kind you could find around the house and even in apartments. It looked like maybe they were collected around the shop or something. Also, he really hoped that his job didn't include feeding them. He was perfectly fine having the glass between him and them, thank you very much.

He found four back-doors, one of them (the brown one) led outside to the back-alley, the second (the yellow one) was a storage room. The third one – red colour – led to an empty room, which was small and smelled like dust and mould, it was nothing but a small dark little hole with one faint light bulb on the ceiling. Maybe it was a second storage room that was not needed. The third door, the bright green coloured one, was locked and he couldn't open it, none of the keys fit into the lock. It was maybe an office or something which he didn't need access to. He wondered why he needed so many keys when there were only a few locks all over the place; he had twice as many keys at least. He tried not to ponder on it; he could ask Mr. Nansi later. He was glad to find a small bathroom on the far end of the shop, sink and toilet, nothing fancy, but not like more was needed.

Big hairy spiders and colourful doors aside the weirdness factor elevated when the tiny bell above the door signalled the arrival of the first costumer. She was a petite, slender Native American woman with dark hair so long that it almost reached the back of her knees. She merely looked at him with her big dark brown eyes for one long moment before walking to the counter. Dean did his best to not look threatening or dangerous or whatever the hell people usually see him as. Maybe it worked, maybe she just didn't give a damn, but her expression never changed from amused nonchalance. She asked for her package. Dean tried to think where packages may be, he looked behind the counter, and under it, but not finding anything.

'Umm… it's probably in the storage room,' he said after a while. 'Could you tell me your name?'

'Raven,' she said.

'Raven…?'

'Just Raven, you'll find it,' she said as her lips curled up into a faint smile.

There was no "Raven" written on any of the boxes and packages in the storage room, but after almost giving up and wanting to tell the lady that she should come back later, he found a small box that had a raven painted on the top. Dean stared at it for a moment, wondering whether his employer was weird enough to paint a raven on a box instead of simply writing the name "Raven" on it. He decided that yes, he most definitely was.

He grabbed the box and took it back outside.

'This is the one?' he asked.

'Most definitely,' she answered.

'Okay… did you pay for it already; do you have the bill or something or… whatever?'

She stared at him for a moment, then smiled sweetly.

'Yes, I did pay for it,' she said.

'Sure you got some bill then,' Dean prompted. It was her package alright, but he had absolutely no clue what was inside or whether it's been paid for. He didn't wanna screw up on his first day.

'No, but I did pay for it,' she said again, still smiling.

'Yeah, I get that, but I'm new and I can't just give this to you without something that proves that you paid for it… hold on, let me check the computer,' he said suddenly, remembering that stuff like this is usually written down on some list or something. Probably even the order is there somewhere, he could check. He turned to do so.

'Well, you can tell Nansi that I took it and he will know that I paid,' she said.

'Yeah, but he's not here right now, so I can't give it to you before I check,' Dean answered. He wished he had Nansi's phone number at least, he could call him then.

'I'm an old costumer… he will know all is well,' she said. 'You can trust me.'

Dean looked up at her. The woman was leaning on the counter, face all open and innocent, eyes huge and brown, and her smile was sweet and friendly. Dean frowned. There was something about her that made the back of his brain itch with some sort of unknown thought, it was nagging at him. He didn't know why, she was cute and tiny, completely harmless looking. No… nobody was harmless, Dean reminded himself. That innocent face just rubbed him in the wrong way, or maybe he was just too used to shady people.

'I hope you're not making trouble for Dean-o on his first day,' interrupted someone before he could speak again. Dean turned towards the door, while Raven huffed and rolled her eyes so hard that her eyeballs looked like they wanted to fall out of their sockets. Gabriel stood there, door open behind him. She must've left it open, cause Dean didn't hear the bell above the door clinking. Gabriel closed the door behind himself, the little bell jingled this time, and he strolled into the shop. Easy confidence, like he owned the place or something.

The man walked up the counter and leaned on it next to the woman and turned towards her with a playful smirk.

'Gimme,' he said and held out his hand towards her. She huffed again and reached into her bag searching for something. After a moment she handed over a smaller brown package and put it in Gabriel's hand. She didn't look like she wanted to do it though. Gabriel smiled at her widely and slid the package across the counter and pulled the box with the raven on it closer before sliding it to her.

The woman mumbled something under her nose before grabbing the box and leaving without a word. The door jingled again as she left and Dean was left alone with Gabriel.

'Hi,' he said finally, finding his voice.

'Hey there, big boy,' Gabriel grinned as he turned towards him. Dean walked back to the counter and picked up the small brown package.

'I thought barter trade was out of style for the past… centuries,' he remarked.

'Yeah well,' Gabriel shrugged. 'There are more valuable things than money,' he said. 'Put that under the counter, Nansi will find it there.'

The way Gabriel pronounced "Nansi" made Dean remember the little rant he heard earlier about Nansi being Nancy, from Gabriel's mouth it sounded like something in-between the two.

'If this was not supposed to be the payment, I'm gonna blame you,' he said, then put the package under the counter. Gabriel chuckled, but didn't reply.

'So… you like your new job?' he asked after a moment of silence.

'Yeah, about that… what even dude?' He asked. 'You've known me for a day, hell not even a full day, and you get me a job? I don't even remember talking about my job problem.'

They talked about a lot of things though and they drank a lot too, so that was not strange. It was strange that Gabriel remembered and did something to help. People didn't just do that, not without expecting something in return.

Gabriel shrugged again.

'Nansi needed a new guy, you needed a job. Seemed like a fine idea,' he answered.

Fine idea, well sure, if one ignored the fact that Dean has never worked in a music shop before, or any shop for that matter, and that he was very shitty at interacting with people. Fine idea.

'So…' Gabriel drawled. 'Settling in alright?'

It was Dean's turn to shrug.

'Yeah sure, I don't know… I mean, I watch the place and all that, but I got no clue about most instruments here and I still couldn't find the price list… I can't open the green door… and the spiders are kinda staring at me all the time…'

'Yeah, you gotta get Groot to like you, the other's gonna fall in line after that,' Gabriel answered.

'What?' blinked Dean.

Gabriel chuckled again then started walking to the other side of the shop motioning Dean to follow. It became petty clear that he was heading towards one of the terrariums, not just any, but the one with the big-ass spider in it. Dean only just caught up with him when he noticed that Gabriel was about to open the top of the glass cage.

'Wha-what are you doing?' he interrupted right away.

'Getting Groot out,' Gabriel replied simply. His innocent face would've been more convincing if his golden eyes weren't shining with mischief.

'Dude… no. Just no,' Dean said firmly.

'Relax, he doesn't bite… much,' he added a beat later as he turned back towards the terrarium. The huge-ass spider – Groot – already climbed up to one of the branches that were inside, getting closer to the top.

'Hey there big fella,' Gabriel greeted when he finally slid the grid on the top to the side and reached inside to take the spider in his hand. Dean reflexively took a step back. It was huge! Especially held by Gabriel, the man's hands looked tiny when those thick hairy spider legs covered his fingers. Dean suppressed a shudder.

'Groot, this is Dean,' Gabriel said with a mischievous smile. 'Dean, say hey to Groot.'

He was so just screwing with him, the bastard.

'Um… isn't it poisonous?' Dean asked.

'Relatively harmless,' Gabriel answered.

'Relatively?' Dean asked.

'Well, it would hurt like a bitch, but it wouldn't kill you,' Gabriel replied with a grin. Yeah, that was reassuring. 'It's always the small ones you need to look out for,' he added. 'Here, hold him.'

'No thanks,' Dean replied.

'Come on! No need to worry, look how fluffy he is.' He said the last bit with childish delight.

'No, seriously, I don-' It was useless to protest though because the next thing he knew Gabriel was way inside his personal space and big fluffy – scary, creepy – Groot was put on his shoulder. Dean mentally patted himself on the shoulder for not shrieking like a little girl and did the only sensible thing a man could do in his position to hold on to his dignity… he froze. He probably stopped breathing for a while too. Oh, he hated Gabriel so much right now, job or no job.

His torture lasted only for a little while. Groot seemed content to just perch on his shoulder and poke at his neck with a hairy leg for a little while, as if it tried to get a reaction out of him. Dean didn't move and finally Gabriel snickered and took Groot off of him.

'Okay, he likes you,' Gabriel declared with a bright smile and put the spider back into his cage after petting him.

'You fucking bastard,' Dean breathed out. Gabriel put the grid back in place and looked at him with a glint in his eyes.

'Speaking of fuc-'

'You cannot honestly expect to get laid after putting me through spider-torture,' Dean answered and Gabriel snickered again. Dean should've been more pissed at him.

'Groot's a big softy, no worries, if I put Lucy on your shoulder… now that would've been mean.'

'Which one's Lucy?' Dean asked out of morbid curiosity. Gabriel pointed at the full terrarium, the one where Dean couldn't see the spider.

'She's a wolf spider and she's usually in a snappy mood… looves to bite.'

'Good to know,' Dean said.

They were silent for a while. Gabriel was observing him and Dean had nothing to say either. It was like a belated morning-after.

'Thanks for the job,' Dean said finally. He felt it was in order.

'You're welcome,' Gabriel smiled again. Less sharp, and warmer, and it somehow untangled something in Dean's stomach. It made him relax and breathe out.

'C'mon… I'll find you that price list, then we can talk about the special orders. I had a hunch Nansi would leave you here like this, the old bastard, but you better know your way around here, Raven's not the only… tricky customer.'

Gabriel did help him after that, and just like last night he didn't make anything out of Dean not laughing at his jokes and not returning his smiles. After an hour Dean wanted to rethink his decision about inviting him home, despite the spider-thing. He found himself looking at Gabriel's smiling lips, and thought about their taste and the way it felt to have them on his skin. He listened to Gabriel talk and laugh, and he thought about all the things the other man whispered to him, all the delicious dirty things he uttered. He caught his scent, and remembered the taste of his skin. He looked at the way Gabriel turned the pages of Nansi's price book, and he remembered the strong and confident fingers digging into his flesh and exploring his body. He licked his lips absentmindedly.

'Dean.'

'Sorry, what was that?' he asked, blinking a few times and willing himself not to get hard, he was losing that battle though.

Gabriel smirked at him knowingly and let his eyes wander over Dean's body languidly, that really didn't help him to stay calm.

'Do call me later, if you're not too busy tonight,' he said in a low promising tone after his eyes locked with Dean's again. The younger man just nodded. His mouth was dry and he was utterly unable to say no.

x-x-x


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

x-x-x

His phone rang and Dean groaned in displeasure. Who the hell called him this early? He didn't have to wake up for at least another hour. One and a half hour, he realized after checking the time.

'Hello?' he mumbled into the phone.

'Good Morning Mr. Winchester, this is Shria Lakshmi from Mandir Healthcare-'

'I have until next month to pay the rest of the money,' Dean interrupted, suddenly wide awake and sitting up in bed.

'That is not why I-'

'Because lady, I paid more than enough already, and I'm gonna pay the rest, but I don't need constant-'

'Mr. Winchester,' she interrupted this time. 'You don't need to pay anymore.'

There was a pause.

'What?' he asked.

'I looked over the details about your family's insurance and the medical bills after the accident and it seems like you already paid more than you had to, the insurance covered most of the costs.'

'But… that's not what I've been told… it was not enough! The hospital refused-'

'I know what you've been told Mr. Winchester, there's been a mistake. Everything is already paid for, as a matter of fact, you get a full refund of the sum you needlessly paid-in.'

Dean's mind was spinning. The things he had to do to _get_ that money, it was not enough still, but it was a lot and he still had bills left, waiting for him to get the money together.

'How much?' he asked then. His voice was faint, his mind not really comprehending what was happening.

'We're going to transfer… let's see $ 125 720 to you today. That amount was completely overpayment.

Dean just took a moment to breathe. 125 thousand…

He had to sell his parent's house in Lawrence at a shitty price, because he was so desperate to get money fast. There were still medical bills waiting for him, … no… she said it's done.

'I don't have to pay the rest of the bill?' he asked.

'You already paid for everything you had to,' the lady answered on the other end.

'Fuck,' he breathed out, one half shock, one half pure relief. 125 thousand… only a little part of all the money he paid to the insurance company and the hospital, and had to spend on other things, but still…

He could get his Mom's bracelet and his parents' rings back from the pawnshop… he could pay his rent (3 months overdue) and he could keep the rest of his stuff – what he hadn't sold already that is – and holy fucking shit he didn't have to sell the Impala. His chest felt too tight.

125 thousand fucking dollars.

'How come you only realized this now? I mean… I had to get the money and…'

'Let's just say that I went through the small print for you,' she said in a tone that told Dean she was smiling.

'Why?' he asked before he could think about it. 'I mean, no… I mean, thank you! Thank you, honestly, but… why would you do that for me?'

'Why not?' she asked in return. 'The money is yours. I just made sure you get it. It's only right.'

'Insurance companies rarely care about what's right, in my experience,' Dean said bitterly.

'Well, this can be our little secret then,' she said, again with that gentle smiling tone.

Dean stayed silent for a moment, trying to comprehend the situation, his mind coming up mostly blank on what to say.

'Thank you,' he settled on and hoped that she could hear in his voice that he was sincere and truly grateful. 'Thank you Miss La-,'

'Lakshmi,' she said.

'Thank you, Miss Lakshmi.'

'You're welcome, Mr. Winchester.'

'Okay, umm… bye then.'

'Have a nice day, Mr. Winchester.'

'Oh I will, thank you,' he said.

'And do give my regards to Mr. Loge,' she added and hung up. It took a moment for that to register properly in his brain, and when it finally did Dean just stared at his phone for a very long moment.

x-x-x

It was not unusual at this point to find both Mr. Nansi and Gabriel in The Den by the time Dean got there. There were some mornings when the shop was empty and he had to use his own keys to get in, but usually it was not the case. This time Mr. Nansi was sitting on the tall stool behind the counter, while Gabriel was sitting on the counter itself on the other side. Groot was out and sitting in Nansi's lap, Dean noticed after a moment. They both looked at him when he walked in and both grinned. That grin was so very similar, that if it wasn't for the different skin colour, Dean would've assumed them to be brothers.

'Hey there big boy, how's it going?' Gabriel asked.

'Do you know a chick called Lakshmi?' Dean asked as he walked to the counter too.

'Sure, old friend,' Gabriel replied easily. 'You know her?' he asked next, his face looked curious and way too innocent… Dean was getting familiar with that expression.

'I do now,' Dean answered. 'She works at my insurance company.'

'Does she now?' Gabriel asked, still looking too innocent and way too openly curious.

'Yes… and she just got me a 125 grand back,' Dean continued.

Mr. Nansi whistled.

'Fo true? Well, if it ain't your lucky day, kiddo,' he said with a smirk.

'I'll say,' Gabriel added. 'I better buy her some chocolate the next time I see her.'

'How did she know we knew each other?' Dean asked.

'She's a friend,' Gabriel said simply with a bright smile.

'You got a lot of friends around town,' Dean said, rubbing the back of his head. 'Convenient friends,' he added a bit quieter. Mr. Nansi chuckled and patted Groot in his lap.

'I've been around here for a while now,' Gabriel said. The overly innocent look vanished from his face finally – it never suited him – and now he was just smiling at Dean in a pleased manner. That was his usual. Dean didn't get around figuring out what it meant, or whether he was the reason for that joyful look in Gabriel's eyes or not.

'Like Nansi,' Dean said glancing at his boss. Gabriel nodded. 'And the guy at the garage… that chef in the restaurant, my landlady's boss… Miss Lakshmi…' Dean trailed off, looking at his… he had no idea what Gabriel was… it started as a casual fuck, but now Dean wasn't so sure. Lover… friend with benefits… boyfriend? No, not that one, that sounded awful… it's not like this was a relationship… or was it? Oh God, was this a relationship? Were they like monogamous or something? It's not like there were people waiting in line to have sex with him, but he didn't think about these things yet… oh fuck, they're gonna have to have a "talk".

'What can I say? I talk about you I guess… and Winchester is an easy name to remember,' Gabriel said.

'I suppose,' Dean admitted and tried to squash down the feeling that tried to bubble up inside him at the thought of Gabriel talking about him to his friends and others. When the hell did this become a relationship? Because seriously, you don't talk about a fuck-buddy to your friends like this, not in a way that would make them help you out. How did he not realize that this was a relationship? It's been weeks… shit, he didn't even notice with everything happening. Normally he already screwed things up at this point, but Gabriel didn't look like he was about to run for the hills. Dean was still his grumpy, broody, anti-social self, so what could Gabriel possibly see in him? Gabriel, who was a constant buzz of energy, all smiles and laughter, who was bright like the sun and just as warm. What could Dean possibly offer to a man like him?

'Dean-o,' Gabriel called and Dean snapped out of it. 'You okay, big boy? You looked real solemn for a moment there.'

'Yeah… yeah, I'm fine,' Dean said and he felt like he might smile, but his lips were not curling and he cursed himself for not even being able to force himself.

'I can tell, you know,' Gabriel said.

'Tell what?' Dean asked in return.

'When you smile,' Gabriel said and Dean frowned in confusion. 'You smile with your eyes,' Gabriel said, hopping down from the counter to stand in front of him. 'Your whole face becomes a little softer, and your eyes brighten, just a little… that's how you smile. I can see it.'

Dean stared at him for a moment, just blinking, his throat closed off and his chest ached, but it was a good pain, the kind he didn't feel in a very long time. He was unable to speak and just stared into Gabriel's golden eyes for a moment. Then he was pulled down into a soft kiss and he reflexively closed his eyes to savour the feel of it. Gabriel pulled back and touched his waist, stroking his side through the t-shirt, still looking at him.

'I'll call you later, alright?'

'Okay,' Dean said quietly. Gabriel stepped back and headed towards the entrance.

'Bye Nansi!' he called back before he closed the door behind himself.

'Tell you what, kiddo,' Nansi said and Dean turned towards him. His boss was putting on his coat, obviously planning to leave too. Groot was walking up and down the counter, exploring the territory, with no care to the world around him.

'I'd be lying if I said that you were the first man to catch Loge's eyes… but I ain't lying when I say that you're the first we all like so far.'

'We?' Dean asked with a slight frown.

Mr. Nansi just smiled and left without another word, but that was his usual. Dean turned and found Groot still sitting on the counter, which meant that he had to put him back into his cage.

'Oh man,' he whined. 'If you bite me, there's gonna be hell to pay, got it mister?' he warned the spider pointing a finger at him. And it was probably just a coincidence, but Groot raised a leg, as if brushing off his threat.

'I guess I should be grateful you're not Lucy, right?' he asked. Groot walked to the edge of the counter towards him, then stopped. Waiting… to be picked up? No… he was not a dog to understand such things, he was probably just used to human presence and sought it out instinctively. Insects were not so smart after all. Dean let out a breath and held out his palm to the edge of the counter and Groot climbed over without hesitation. Dean congratulated himself for not freaking out anymore. Lucy was still creepy though, only once did he notice her coming out of her hole and she jumped on the glass with a thud, scaring the hell out of him. Not Groot thought, he was a big softy, just like Gabriel said.

'How about I give you a big fat cockroach?' Dean asked as he walked towards the terrarium. 'For being all cool and not biting me,' he added. 'And you can enjoy Lucy being all envious and not getting any,' he continued. 'Cause I ain't feeding that scary bitch,' he added with a whisper.

He put Groot back into the terrarium and began searching for the cockroach box. Then he realized that he was talking to the spider exactly the same way Gabriel always did. It was strange, but in a good way.

x-x-x

After a relatively calm day of eccentric students – _hipsters,_ Gabriel informed him – coming and going, checking out and buying exotic instruments and vintage records, a little old lady with long silver-white hair walked into the shop with a tall black man in an elegant dark suit. Dean was getting good at recognizing Nansi's special customers who came to pick up packages and boxes. He never knew what they were supposed to pay with. Gabriel only told him that they always had to give something, nothing was paid in advance. There had to be an exchange. It was weird, but not Dean's place to ask.

He was tempted to though. His life was not squeaky clean either, but he would've liked to know what he was handing out, and whether it was somewhere in a legal grey-area. Like y'know, what to say in case the cops came looking or something. Not that Mr. Nansi came across as a criminal, but he had his shades. Nansi's special costumers were all kinda the same. Nothing utterly alarming or suspicious about them, but Dean had a vague feeling that there was more to them than it seemed. It was not so different with Gabriel, although the feeling with him was a little more specific. He always seemed to fill out the space he was in; his presence was larger than he was. Dean chalked it up to his personality and charisma. He had a casual confidence and he was charming beyond words, his eyes were always sharp and bright, his smile inviting. Dean imagined that he would draw the attention of any room he entered; people would look at him, gather around him, they would drink in his words and laugh at every joke, they would be drawn in like moths to the flame. That was the main reason Dean still didn't understand what Gabriel saw in him. Grim, miserable Dean… they would've had a lot in common before… before everything. Dean could picture it, laughing and drinking beer, watching some movie and trading fond insults and snarky remarks. Before… he would've understood, now on the other hand…

The pair walked up to him and while the man was staring at him since he entered the shop the old lady was looking around and only turned towards him when they reached the counter. She looked good for her age. She was old and there were many wrinkles on her face, but she still looked lively and confident.

'Who are you?' she asked.

'My name's Dean… I work here,' he said. The black man looked him over, then turned towards his companion.

'You know him. Sedna mentioned him, remember?'

'Ahh, Loge's boy?' she asked and looked him up and down. Dean raised an eyebrow. He was getting used to everyone knowing who Gabriel was in Nansi's circles… and many people outside of it too, but _boy_, really?

'Yeah Gabriel, but c'mon… I'm not his "_boy"_, he's only a few years older than me.'

The old lady looked at him for a moment then smiled widely.

'Of course he is,' she said, which was just plain weird.

'We came for our orders,' the man said in a deep even tone. Dean expected as much.

'Okay, what's the name?' he asked.

'Samedi,' the man replied.

'That sounds familiar,' Dean said, but he couldn't remember where he heard it before.

'I am not surprised,' the man replied. Maybe Gabriel and Nansi talked about him before.

'Okay, so am I to look for the name or some sort of a picture?' Dean asked. He asked Nansi about what was that about, painting pictures on boxes instead of writing down names, but he just smiled and told him that it was more interesting that way.

'A skull, I would presume,' he said. Dean didn't comment. 'And a crane… for the other one.'

'Ah, two packages then? Got it. Be right back.' He headed to the back while he tried to remember what a crane looked like…. probably like a crane.

The skull on the box was wearing a top hat, which was amusing. When he got back there were two things on the counter, which was a relief, because some of these costumers were very reluctant to give their payment. Dean was always insistent and never budged until they handed over what they had to, but it was tiring to argue and say no a hundred times to those who insisted that they paid before. Dean was stubborn, and after a while he just crossed his arms over his chest and stared at them, stone-faced and unimpressed by their bullshit. Dean knew how to deal with the sort, he had practice, and they usually gave up rather easily. This time a medium-large box and a small satchel sat on the counter and Dean slid the two boxes, one with a skull and one with a crane, over to them while taking the other ones and putting them under the counter.

'So, Loge's boy, are we going to see you on the Ostara Feast?' the old lady asked.

Dean didn't bother to argue about the boy label this time, there was no use to argue with old ladies in his experience.

'What's that?' he asked.

'A feast,' she replied.

'A party?' Dean asked in return.

'Yes,' she answered a moment later.

'Well, it's the first time I heard about it, so probably not,' Dean said.

'Ah, that a shame truly, you ought to come. There's still many, who have yet to meet you.'

Dean felt his eyebrows rising up again.

'Meet me? Who?' he asked.

'All our other friends of course,' she said.

'I'm not that interesting, Ma'am,' Dean said, even if he was still confused about the conversation. They were probably friends with Nansi – most likely with Gabriel too – so maybe this was some kind of obligatory invitation, like inviting the new neighbour to a barbecue, just because it's expected to welcome them or something.

'I disagree,' she said. 'Tell Loge to bring you,' she said then and her tone turned a little commanding. 'I insist.' She then turned to leave.

'Good day,' the tall man nodded, then turned and followed her out.

This conversation made his weirdo-antenna tingle – more than average – so he got out his phone and sent a text to Gabriel.

**Some old lady insisted you take me to some feast. You know her?**

_**Crane? Old friend. You wanna go?**_

That was an expected reply. Sometimes it felt like everyone was Gabriel's "old friend".

**What's up with the animal names? And I dunno. Big party?** Dean typed back. He was not fond of big crowds all that much, Gabriel knew that too.

_**You have a gun type for a name. Lots of food&booze, it's fun, it's this weekend. You'd like it. So wanna come?**_

Dean thought about it for a moment, the name thing was a fair point. And maybe the old lady had some Native American roots – even if she didn't look like it – Nansi seemed to have a lot of costumers like that. Also, this weekend meant that Gabriel knew about this party for a while now, just didn't mention it. Well, it's not like he was obliged or anything. These were obviously Gabriel's friends and just because they were regularly boning each other, it didn't mean he had to drag Dean with him to places.

**You don't have to invite me.** Dean wrote back.

_**I was planning to anyway.**_ Gabriel replied back and despite his suspicious nature, Dean was inclined to believe that. Gabriel never gave him a reason to doubt him, not like that. Sure, he had weird friends, a lot of friends in a lot of places, but whenever Dean asked something, he replied and Dean never got the feeling that he was lying or twisting the words. He was good at picking up on that, so he would've noticed. Sometimes his words were vague, hard to understand, but that was part of his personality. Hell, Mr. Nansi was just the same, more than that, he was worse, most of the time he answered with cryptic smiles and a few confusing words.

**Okay, sure why not.** Dean texted back.

It's not like he didn't run into Gabriel's friends constantly. Sometimes it felt like it was some sort of a mafia or something (he really hoped it was not), he met them in the most unexpected places. His phone beeped, signalling him a new message.

_**Great! And no worries, they're going to like you. Meet you at The Den.;)**_

This _really_ better not be a freakin' mafia.

x-x-x


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

x-x-x

Dean woke up suddenly, drenched in sweat, muscles tense and a shout on his lips. He just tried to breathe and get his heart rate under control for several moments, the outside world not even registering in his brain. That's why he didn't notice Gabriel leaning over him, his golden eyes bright as ever even in the dim-lit twilight of Dean's bedroom.

'Sorry,' he managed to say after a while. He put an arm across his eyes, willing the last scrapes of the nightmare to vanish from his mind.

'Nothing to be sorry about,' Gabriel answered. He was trailing his hand soothingly up and down Dean's stomach and it kinda helped. His muscles slowly relaxed again as he just breathed deeply. Gabriel was always chatty, but this time he stayed silent, Dean was grateful.

'Are you some kind of a mafia godfather?' Dean asked then out of the blue. Gabriel laughed.

'Where did that come from?' he asked.

'I'm distracting myself,' Dean shrugged. He had to get his mind to stop thinking about the memories that were clawing at the inside of his skull. Gabriel thankfully didn't push it and allowed Dean to change the line of conversation.

'No… I am not,' he said simply. Dean could hear in his voice that he was smiling.

'I'm just saying… you like… know everybody, people like… do stuff for you all the time, and all of them are weirdly respectful. I mean, Nansi's your friend, but even he's all "Mr. Loge" too. I didn't hear anyone ever call you Gabriel, well… besides me.'

'And people can only get respect in a mafia?' Gabriel asked with a chuckled.

'No, but… I don't even know what you do for a living,' Dean settled on, realizing this just now. He put his arm down so that he could look at Gabriel.

'This and that… I'm sort of a freelancer,' Gabriel said.

'And how's that working out?'

'Good, I got a lot of connections… it's kinda vital. I always know where to ask for what and whom to talk to get things done. I know people, that's my main skill.'

'And is that like legal or not… or somewhere in-between?' Dean asked, then continued before it could sound bad. 'Not judging or anything. I did a lot of in-between stuff in my life, some were downright illegal, no point arguing about that… so I'm just curious.'

'Why?' Gabriel asked in return.

'Just cause… can't I know more about you?' he asked. 'Because dude… this… thing we've got going… it's been like six weeks now… so I guess I kinda wanna know more.'

'Does that mean you're also willing to tell more?' Gabriel asked.

Dean had to think about that for a moment, but let's be honest, it was fair.

'Yeah… yeah sure… if you're interested.'

Dean was never one to share… anything. Not stories and most definitely not emotions. But for so long now he's been alone, completely and utterly alone, and nobody knew who he was. They assumed and they guessed, but they didn't know, they didn't ask, and Dean didn't offer. He always thought that he was a lone-wolf type, someone who enjoyed the wide stretch of the road and could be content with nothing else for company but his car and a classic rock tape. He was wrong. The loneliness ate at him slowly, but surely. He always had someone… his family may have been anything but perfect, but they were there. They were always there, family's not something you can just separate from and no matter what happened he always had them… well, Sammy at least.

He didn't manage to figure out what was causing him the most pain until he finally had someone on his speed-dial again. He always thought that it was only grief and guilt that was suffocating him, but it was more. Those were still there, they would never be gone, but some part of him uncoiled and started to heal by having someone who talked with him, ate with him, shared his bed… shared his life. That took him to realize: he always hated to be alone.

But Gabriel was not family, they didn't have an inherit bond that could not be shredded. He heard such bonds could be built, he never believed in it, sounded too much like something only naïve people believed in. But he's been so alone, and Gabriel gave him so much, he wanted to believe it could be built. He didn't want to be alone anymore.

'Is this a relationship?' he asked.

'No offense, but you're a little slow, if you're only just getting that now,' Gabriel answered in a light tone.

'I've never had one of those before,' Dean answered.

'Oh Dean, Dean, Dean… let me make it clear then,' Gabriel said and rolled on top of him. Dean spread his legs to make room for him and the other man settled in there. Gabriel put his hands on either side of Dean's head and looked down at him with his mesmerizing golden eyes.

'You and I, Dean Winchester, belong together now,' he said and lowered his hips to press closer. They comfortably fitted together now. Gabriel put his weight on one arm so he could reach out and stroke the scar and the side of Dean's face. 'You're mine now, and unless you want to run away, I plan to keep you. I want your kisses to only belong to me. I want every breath and every sound you make. I want your eyes to look upon me always; I want them to burn with want only for me. I want to be the only one to touch you, the only one to fill you and take you in all the ways you need it.'

Dean moved his hips now, rolling them up to get friction for them both, getting hard at the feel of that and the sweet possessive words.

'But not just that…' Gabriel continued. 'I want you to be the only one to touch me, to hold me, to burn me up,' Gabriel was moving his hips now too, slowly, but with intent, his eyes still locked with Dean's. 'Because Dean… if you belong to me… I'll give you everything too.'

Dean put his arms around him, one hand on the small of his back, the other around his neck. Gabriel leaned down and nipped at his neck, his mouth leaving a wet trail on his skin, Dean tilted his head back to give him more room.

'Are you mine, Dean? Tell me,' Gabriel asked. This Dean knew well, Gabriel loved to hear it.

'Yes,' he answered. 'Of course I am.'

'Say it.'

'I'm yours,' he said without hesitation then turned his head to capture Gabriel's lips. Their kiss was deep and heated, mouths clashing, tongues meeting, teeth biting sensitive lips. Dean buried a hand in Gabriel's hair while their hips still moved together. When their kiss ended they did not move away, but stayed right there only a breath away.

'I said it… now show me it's true,' Dean said and Gabriel dived in for another kiss.

Dean let Gabriel take charge like he almost always did. Let him open him up and show him how much he meant it. Dean was not good with words – he used to be – but he was always better at showing what he felt rather than forming the right words to express himself. Gabriel seemed to understand. Gabriel could see the smile that he could not show with his lips. Gabriel could understand what even a simple touch meant. Gabriel could hear his unspoken words. He knew what it meant the way Dean's body relaxed and opened for him. He understood the importance of the way Dean wrapped his arms around him.

'More,' Dean breathed out when the feel of Gabriel's fingers within him was too much to bear and not enough to satisfy him. Gabriel didn't tease, not this time, and soon Dean felt his thick length pushing past the slick and loosened muscle. He didn't really remember when they stopped using condoms exactly, but he knew he liked it better this way. He was more than glad to feel Gabriel directly. It always felt overwhelming, this moment always did, but more so with Gabriel. Dean couldn't explain it, the heat of Gabriel's body above him and inside him was simply too much and Dean could never figure out why it felt different, why it felt like more than it did with anyone before him.

Not like he cared. Not with the way he was spread open and filled, Gabriel buried as deep inside him as possible. Dean tightened his hold on the other man, who started to move in answer, understanding Dean's wordless demand. Dean couldn't keep in the deep sound of pleasure when Gabriel pulled almost all the way out, then pushed right back in, just the right side of forceful, just fast enough for Dean to feel it while sparing him of any real pain. Dean tilted his hips up, as much as he could in his position, to welcome him, to help Gabriel get deeper. The movement was repeated a few times, then Gabriel let go, the pace and strength of his thrusts increasing rapidly as soon as Dean was loose and relaxed enough to be able to handle it.

Dean couldn't focus his mind on anything from that point on, he lost himself in the feel of Gabriel's body, like always. He was aware of his touches, his kisses, his heavy breath and occasional moans, but that was all. He was never even aware of the sounds falling from his own lips, not like he cared how he sounded like. It was one of the most glorious things about being taken, that he could let go, completely and utterly, he could let his body move instinctively, freely of any of the dark thoughts that clouded his mind constantly. He could just switch off his brain and focus on the hot slide of Gabriel's cock inside of him and the bruising grip of his hands on his hips. He could let go in a way he could not in any other way.

He noticed it when Gabriel's rhythm faltered, so he wrapped his legs around him tighter, urging him on, faster, deeper, wanting him to drive both of them to completion. His own dick felt just as hard as Gabriel's felt like inside of him, but he didn't reach down to touch himself, the warm press of Gabriel's stomach was enough. Hell, he was sure that he could come just from the feel of Gabriel's cock inside of him, especially with the way his body shuddered with ecstasy and his muscles trembled every time the thick head pressed just the right place.

His bed was creaking and Dean's moans grew louder and louder as he got closer to his climax. Gabriel's thrusts were hard and fast now, he was close too, but Dean lost it first. His muscles locked up and his senses exploded. Gabriel groaned at the extra tightness around his dick. The feel of Dean's warm come coating their stomachs was secondary, and neither of them paid attention to that. Dean was still riding the wave of pleasure, his body not yet relaxing, when Gabriel followed him over the edge, he stopped after a handful of hard thrusts, staying buried deep inside Dean as his seed coated his insides in hot spurts.

They stayed in each other's embrace, still connected, for quite a while. Gabriel slipped out when he softened, but only rolled off of Dean after they shared a long and lazy kiss. As his breathing slowed down Dean became aware of the warm sticky mess on his stomach and inside of him, he also felt it dripping out of his hole. He felt utterly and completely dirty and debauched, covered in sweat and come, lying on the wrinkled sheets with his legs still mostly open, most definitely a slutty image, not that he didn't like it. He's never been ashamed of his body, and the one thing he never felt guilty about was his pleasure. Gabriel certainly liked it too, if the look on his face was anything to go by.

'We still have a few hours before we need to get up,' Gabriel remarked. 'Wanna get cleaned up and sleep some or…?'

He let that trail off, but he didn't need to finish for Dean to get what he meant.

'Nah, I think I'm just gonna stay like this for a while,' he answered. Gabriel hummed in consideration. He slid closer and let his fingers trail lines down on Dean's cooling skin.

'That so? You're really going to stay like this… legs spread wide, all loose and open and slick and… dirty?' his tone was conversational, but it had a hint of heat in it. His breath was already under control, slow and steady.

Dean hummed in confirmation, raising an arm to put it under his head and Gabriel stroked the muscles that stretched and shifted with the movement.

'Really now… someone might take advantage of that,' Gabriel said as he put a kiss on Dean's neck.

'I'm counting on it,' Dean answered and Gabriel's delighted chuckle told him that it was the perfect thing to say. It didn't take long for Gabriel's fingers to find their way back down to Dean's loose hole that was completely slick with lube and come. They definitely did not get out of bed for quite a few hours after that.

x-x-x


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

x-x-x

It was just another day at The Den. Seriously, a handful of kids, not even any special costumers. The latter explained why it took Dean the whole day to notice… the green door was open. Not much, only a few inches, but it was open. Dean stared at it for quite a while, not able to decide what to do. The responsible thing to do was to shut it without even looking. It was obviously locked all the time for a reason after all. He could just leave it there too. Dean did the least reasonable thing and walked closer. He didn't know why, he wasn't really the curious type. Although he was ready to admit that the locked green door interested him even more than the weird little room with the single light bulb in it.

He took a deep breath as he stopped right in front of the door. He felt suddenly like a kid again, sneaking around somewhere he wasn't supposed to. Then he shrugged, it was most likely just Mr. Nansi's office. A peek won't hurt anybody. He reached out and grabbed the edge of the door and slowly pulled it open a little more. The second he could see what was behind it, he pulled it completely open immediately. Because… that was weird, weirder than all the spiders, the painted boxes and packages, and Nansi's friends and special costumers together, well no, around the same level of weird than all of those combined maybe. Behind the green door, was another door. Not just any door, but a heavy rustic metal door, sturdy and dark in colour, made of iron probably.

'What the hell?' he said quietly. The ornate iron handle was the only shiny part of it all, obviously the only part that was regularly touched. There was also no lock or latch on it, just the handle. The back of Dean's mind was one part telling him to leave it alone, close the green door and forget about it, but the other part urged him on. That was the stubborn – sometimes stupid – part of him, the one that made him do things he didn't believe himself capable of. His gut always told him to listen to that part, it always served him right, even if this time his instincts were all messed up. Looking at the door felt strange. Like the room should be cold, because the door looked like something that was found only in dark and cold places. It also looked really heavy, like it would be really hard or almost impossible to move it. But it also made him want to step forward, to look what was behind it.

He took all weirdness of the shop with relative ease, but this… this was something else. Something unknown and out of place and most definitely forbidden. A soft thud made him look away for a moment. The sound came from Lucy's glass cage, and sure enough, she was there, and she obviously lounged at the glass again. Dean frowned, as the wolf spider didn't just scurry back into her hole, but stayed by the glass on Dean's side, two of her front legs moving in an irritated manner. Dean had the urge to check Groot, but he was too far away. He turned back to the iron door and put his hand on the handle. It was cold alright; it almost made Dean pull away in fear it would tear off the skin on his palm, but that was nonsense, he was in a room, it was spring outside, the door handle couldn't be freezing cold enough to damage him.

He only hesitated for a moment before he slowly pulled the door open, but before he could look inside something collided with it from the other side with a metallic thud. It almost made Dean jump, but he didn't have time to think about what it was, because it was followed by a second, then a third, then a forth and in a blink the door slammed open so fast and with such force that it knocked Dean off his feet.

Wings. He thought first, but then there was noise and darkness. Large black birds flew out, dozens or more, too many to count and Dean could do little more than keep on the ground and protect his face from the occasional claw or beak that tore at him. The noise was incredibly loud, the sound of wings while the birds were shrieking and screeching and made who knows what other kind of unearthly sounds. Dean heard the sound of glass breaking, of things falling down from the walls and shelves.

He tried to use his hands to fend off some of the birds, but it did him no good as his face became vulnerable because of it. He went back to just protecting himself and slowly crawled forward to climb under the record stands, that was the safest place nearby. His mind was too shocked to comprehend anything, so he was merely moving on instinct. He had all the time in the world to figure out what the hell was happening, after he was not torn to pieces by fucking birds.

He just made it under his new-found shelter when the birds made an even more distressed noise and Dean had to cover his ears, because it hurt damn it, it hurt like a bitch. Then it was over and Dean heard nothing but his own ragged breathing and the quiet music coming from the shop's speakers.

'Dean!' someone called and a second later Gabriel's head appeared not far away from him. 'You okay?' he asked, crouching on the floor as well.

Dean looked at him for one long moment, then his body shook off the shock and he could move again. He swiftly rolled out from under the records and stood up, just as fast, adrenalin still pumping in his veins. He looked around for any sign of danger and the black birds, but the shop was empty, only Gabriel was inside with him. The damage around him and the black feathers here and there told him that he was not hallucinating though.

'What the hell was that?!' he asked as Gabriel stood up from the floor too. 'And how the hell did you get here?!'

'Dean-o, you better sit down.'

'I'm not gonna sit down!' Dean told him in a very stern tone. He was bleeding in several places, cuts and scratches all over him. None was lethal or even that serious, but they hurt and his t-shirt was torn in many places. His brain just couldn't comprehend this, not a single cell in his body was able to comprehend this.

'Dean, seriously… you gotta calm down, alright? It's over, I'm here… I'm gonna tell you, but you gotta sit down and calm down so you can listen.'

One of Gabriel's hands was on his elbow, a steadying, reassuring touch; the other was on the side of his neck, keeping Dean's attention on him while his thumb stroked his jaw soothingly. Dean nodded after a moment and Gabriel lead him to the counter and made him sit down behind it on the high stool.

'Just one second, alright?' he asked, then moved away. First he turned the sign on the door to "CLOSED", then he started to search for something in the drawers. A few moments later he triumphantly held up a small first-aid kit.

'Alright, lemme see you,' he opened the little box and reached out to Dean to check one of the bigger cuts on his face, but Dean caught his hand and looked him in the eyes.

'Talk, Gabriel,' he said. Already calm, he was good at that, to focus on the important things and push aside all that hindered him, like confusion or panic.

'I can talk and clean out your cuts at the same time,' Gabriel answered and Dean let go of him. He watched silently as Gabriel poured disinfectant on a piece of gauze, then started cleaning out the wounds. He also started talking a moment later.

'How did you open the door?' he asked.

'It was open,' Dean answered and Gabriel looked like he wanted to curse… a lot.

'Both?' he asked instead.

'The green one, the other was just… not locked. What happened to the birds?'

'I sent them away,' Gabriel replied.

'Where did they come from?'

'Birds live everywhere.'

'That's what Nansi said about spiders,' Dean replied, not even knowing why he was remembering that of all things right now. Gabriel smiled.

'And it's both true, isn't it?'

'Okay, but how did they get in here?'

'You let them in through the door, that much should be obvious.' Dean scowled, but before he could open his mouth to reply Gabriel continued. 'Doors separate two spaces, yes? That's their function, but sometimes those spaces are very-very different from another. You use a door to get from one place to another, but sometimes you keep it locked because you don't want others to be able to do the same.' Gabriel looked at him as if to check if he was following, then seemingly satisfied by the look on Dean's face he went back to cleaning his wounds.

'Now you happened to open the wrong door, so someone came in, who was not supposed to.'

'Someone?'

'Her name's Siris… she kinda hates Nansi,' Gabriel explained.

'But the birds…'

'Yep…'

'You mean… she was… the birds? All the birds?'

'Yes,' Gabriel confirmed.

'How? I mean… what? How is-'

'Okay, look… one thing at a time, okay? We have plenty of time to talk about Siris, but she's not… important per se, not personally. I thought you would be more interested in the door.'

'Oh, so the weird iron door is supposed to be more important than the chick that can turn into a homicidal bird swarm?' Dean asked.

'When you put it like that, she does sound more important,' Gabriel mused. 'But she's Nansi's problem, like always, and it has nothing to do with you.'

'Well, excuse me, but I'm the one that was beat up by a bunch of birds that came out of nowhere, I kinda take stuff like this personally.'

Gabriel chuckled. 'Oh, you are taking this way more smoothly than expected. Most people are freaked out at this point.'

'I'm pissed, I don't have the energy to be freaked out too,' Dean answered with another scowl. Gabriel just smiled again.

'They didn't come out of nowhere… just from a very different place, very far from here.'

'So, it's a magic door?'

'Precisely.'

'Why is there a magic door in a music shop?'

'And you don't even question the magic door's existence. I'm so proud of you.'

'Well, it would be kinda hard to deny the "magic" part after I watched those birds pour out of there.'

'True enough, and to answer your question, the magic door is in the music shop, because we don't just sell music things.' He looked pointedly at Dean for a moment, waiting for him to catch up.

'The special orders?'

'Bingo!' Gabriel grinned.

'You mean, I've been selling and bartering with all kinds of magic stuff all this time?'

'Yes.'

Dean thought about that for a moment. 'Why didn't I know that?'

'A, you never asked what was in the boxes and B, you probably would not have been too inclined to believe it.'

'Why don't people know about it? I mean… that it's real… that there is stuff like this out there?'

'Many people know, many don't,' Gabriel shrugged. 'You probably can't recite Old Norse ballads, you probably never heard one either, but that doesn't mean they don't exist. Or y'know… it's not like the laws of physics stop existing and working just because the majority of humanity doesn't understand them and can't recognize the proof of its workings. Those who want to know can find it, recognise it, those who want to understand will learn about it, those who do not care or do not want to believe just live their lives in ignorance.'

'So… she's some witch or something?'

'Or something… yeah,' Gabriel shrugged, finally done with cleaning Dean's wounds out.

'So is Nansi a wizard or something?' That made Gabriel chuckle again.

'I wouldn't say that, but he knows quite a few tricks.'

'And what are you then?'

'I am me, a freelancer… I know people, people know me, I know where to find them and I know where to get things and how.'

'And how'd you get here? You never come before five,' Dean said.

'Well, I walked in through a door of course.'

Dean narrowed his eyes.

'Come,' Gabriel said and tugged on his arm to drag him off the stool and towards the back of the shop. 'I think you earned yourself a free afternoon.'

Which was all fine and well, but why did they come this way then? It took a moment to realise that they were walking towards the red door, which was wide open. Inside there was only the small dark room, as always, but now Dean was looking at it with a lot more suspicion. Gabriel closed the door and reached into his pocket, searching for something. A second later he pulled out a keychain; it had almost as many keys on it than the one that belonged to the shop. Gabriel showed him one of the keys, it was golden and had a tiny red stone on it too. Dean's suspicion grew.

'What are you doing?' he asked.

'Just watch and learn,' Gabriel said and slid the key into the lock of the red door. He waited for a moment then turned the key, then waited another moment before he pushed down the handle and opened the door again. Dean felt his eyes widen when on the other side of the door was his own living room. Dean wouldn't have moved by himself, but Gabriel tugged him forward and they stepped through the door. Dean was still just gaping as he stood in his apartment.

'How?' he asked. Gabriel closed the door behind them and Dean didn't have to turn to know that his bedroom door was at his back. 'My doors are not magic… or are they?' he asked after a moment.

'No,' Gabriel smiled. 'But my keys are.'

x-x-x

They spent the rest of the afternoon – and even the evening – talking, mostly Gabriel though. Dean asked questions and he answered, sometimes his answers were vague, sometimes direct and simple, depended on the subject. He most definitely dodged all questions that were about him, which annoyed Dean some, but truth to be told, it's not like he talked about his past either. He could understand that maybe Gabriel was reluctant to share even more personal information just yet.

He talked about all the things that were out there in the world, hidden things, magical things, dark and dangerous things and Dean's head was spinning with it all after a few hours, but there was still more to absorb. He didn't realize how slowly they moved closer to one another, not until he was lying down with his head in the other's lap, with Gabriel's fingers in his hair, stroking his skull slowly and soothingly, smiling down at him every now and then. The position did explain how he managed to stay relatively calm and level-headed while listening to Gabriel's words.

'So… is there a Heaven or something… do you know about things like that?' Dean asked after some time, regretting the question as soon as it came out of his mouth.

'There is a place, beyond the world of the living, if that's what you mean… I wouldn't go as far as calling it Heaven or Hell though.'

'No eternal happy paradise and all that crap?' he asked.

'The dead do not care, Dean. They are beyond the things that the living understand as happiness or sadness, good or evil, so there is no need for that place to be good or bad.'

'So it doesn't matter what kind of life you live, everyone ends up at the same place anyway? Man, some religious folk would be really pissed to hear that.'

Gabriel chuckled quietly.

'People may be curious about what happens after death, they may hope for some Heaven or fear some sort of Hell, but… it doesn't matter by the time they get there, not over there.'

'Same for everyone? I don't really get it.'

'No, and you're not meant to get it just yet,' Gabriel said.

'How do you get it then?'

'Met quite a few who've already been there for one.'

'Like ghosts and stuff?'

'Yes, ghosts too.'

'So… does… um… everybody… go there?' he asked next.

'No, there are always exceptions. Some are bound to this world by magic, some cling to life too hard, some are too angry to go… things happen.'

'And they become…'

'Yes, I told you that already… shades, echoes, spirits, ghosts… you name it, there's probably one somewhere.'

'And can you like… find out… I mean… if someone is here… or over there?' there was a lump in Dean's throat as he squeezed out the question.

'Who exactly?'

Dean took a large breath and closed his eyes, both wanting to answer and not. It's been so long ago, but with what he heard just now… what if they were stuck here? What if they clung to life too hard, like Gabriel said, or were too angry at him to leave?

'Can someone like… help them? If they're stuck here?' he asked instead of answering.

'There are ways to push them over to the other side. Gently, if they're only lost, aggressively, if they're not willing to go and causing trouble.'

'What counts as trouble?'

'Vengeful spirits and poltergeists… those tend to kill and destroy, really not pretty.'

Dean stayed quiet for a moment, thinking about it.

'If it helps, I can tell that you're not haunted… you would notice that anyway.'

'Don't ghosts like… haunt places and not people?'

'Generally, but it can't hurt to know that you personally are not haunted.'

'Yeah, I guess you're right.'

'Wanna tell me what this line of questioning is about?' Gabriel asked.

'I don't know… it's… hard.'

'I know you lost someone, that much is clear.'

'Yeah,' Dean drew in a shaky breath. 'Only not just one… I… shit… I got my family killed,' he said quietly, barely audible and it felt like knives were slicing up the inside of his throat as the words came out. His chest clenched painfully and he felt his eyes burn, but he knew he wouldn't cry, he didn't have any tears left, not for a long time now.

Gabriel stayed silent – waiting – and Dean was more than okay with that, he wasn't sure how much he's going to be able to tell, but any interruption would shatter his resolve on speaking at all.

'Many told me, that I shouldn't blame myself, that it was not my fault, but it's a load of bullshit. I was driving… I was the one not paying attention, because I was too fucking busy arguing with Dad and…'

He had to stop, he had to take a few calming breaths as the events of that night came rushing back into his mind, the memories tearing at his brain.

'We were arguing… Dad and I… Sam… my little brother, wanted to go to college, and Dad didn't want it, he wanted him to stay, like I did, close to the family, but that was not for Sam, he wanted more from life… and it hurt to think about letting him go, but I wanted the best for him… my Dad and I argued about it a lot… that night too. Sam and my Mom were just listening in the back seat; they long realised that they couldn't stop us from arguing about it.'

'I was driving,' he continued after a heavy pause. 'Cause Dad was drinking and Mom and Sammy hated driving at night, so… we were hit by a semi… and I didn't… I didn't pay attention to the road, so I didn't see it coming…'

Gabriel's touch was solid, his presence reassuring. Dean couldn't look at him and talk about this at the same time, so he didn't know what kind of expression was on his face.

'Mom died… instantly, it was over for her in a blink, but Dad and Sammy and me… we were taken into hospital… I was unconscious for three days, by the time I woke up my Dad was dead too, he was dead only after a few hours actually and Sammy… he was unconscious too… a lot worse than me. I mean, they had to do surgery on me… like two and I was pretty damn banged up, but… Sammy was a lot worse.'

He stopped again, just breathing for a while, trying to get his voice steady and even. It was a lost battle, he sounded utterly broken.

'So there I was… my parents dead and my brother dying, I was half-dead… and then someone just walked up to me and told me that my parents' insurance was not covering for Sammy, because he was an adult already. I had a job, I had one, not too good, but covered almost everything, but Sammy didn't have one… I don't know how my parents could forget this… or… I don't know… so there I was… needing money to pay for two funerals, my medical bill and Sammy's. …They didn't let me out of the hospital… I went anyway at my own responsibility after a week and Sammy was still not awake.'

'So I arranged the funerals, in a daze, sort of… I didn't have time to mourn or to think, I still had a brother, who counted on me… and I needed the money so that he can get all the help he needed to get better. I couldn't get to my parents' bank-account right away, so I emptied my own, sold the house, TV, electronics, everything I could… and it was not enough, because Sammy just… didn't wake up and they started talking about chances and life-support and costs and… I didn't care… I couldn't give up on him, even if the doctors did.'

'I did things I'm not proud of, but I'm not gonna be ashamed and I'm not gonna regret it… because I did it for him… I insisted they don't pull the plug, because they said there was a few per cent chance of him waking up, they told me the costs, and I screamed and yelled at them, that they honestly thought that I could care about money when it came to my brother's life? They said I should give up, and I told them no… I hoped he would come back, that he would wake up and I refused to give up.'

'It was stupid… in retrospect, because Sammy never woke up… it didn't matter how long I stayed by his bedside, how many times I talked to him and asked him and begged him and cried, it didn't matter how much money I paid for his care… he never woke up and even if I didn't want to… I had to… I had to stop… so after waiting for almost a year… he just got worse… and I had to let him go.'

'It left me with a third funeral and bills piling up… without anything… alone… gone, all of them gone… I lost everything… and I hated that I was alive, that I alone survived… I hated it more than I hated anything… it was unfair… I would've gladly traded places with Sammy… he was smart, he had plans… he had a big future ahead of him… but I was the one alive… stupid high-school drop-out who drove too fast and drank too much and did nothing in his whole life that was worth shit.'

Gabriel pulled him closer and just held him, and the words stopped pouring out of his mouth. This was the first time he talked about it, and he felt empty and hollow. They stayed like that for a long time. Dean listened to Gabriel's breathing and tried to find calm and warmth in his presence.

'It's a terrible burden… being the one left alive,' Gabriel said after a long long pause. 'But you don't have to carry it alone anymore. I swear.'

It was crazy, but Dean believed him.

x-x-x


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

x-x-x

Dean woke up in Gabriel's arms, like every morning in the past three days. He was getting used to it. He also didn't go to work for the last few days. Mr. Nansi didn't seem to mind. He cursed a lot when Gabriel called him, but that was because Siris messed up his shop, he agreed that Dean needed a little holiday to wrap his mind around everything. Truth to be told, Dean already managed that, so there were magical things and magical people out there, noted. There were supernatural creatures in existence, okay sure, it even sounded logical after Gabriel explained it all. He was not in denial, he was not freaking out, he accepted the fact and moved on, there was nothing to deal with beyond that. He was just surprised by the damn birds, that's all. Now he knew how it happened, he was pissed at the chick, but not scared. It would take more than a few birds to scare him. Gabriel told him that it was more than exceptional that he accepted everything this easily. Dean just shrugged. After all, what would it change if he ran his mind in circles about it? Not a damn thing. It would all exist even then, so it made a lot more sense to just nod and move on.

The reason he needed the time home was because of the things he told Gabriel. This was the first time he talked to anyone about it and it tore open old wounds. He felt drained and he was grieving again, the loss of his family painful yet again. It never stopped hurting, but it quieted down into a dull ache over time, but talking about it turned that back into a sharp ache. He needed time to get himself back together, that's all.

'It's Saturday,' Gabriel said. Dean blinked open his eyes and looked up at him.

'And?'

'Ostara Feast… still up for it or…'

'Oh… I don't know,' he really didn't. It's been a few days, he felt better, but a party. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. 'Not really in a party mood.'

'It's not a party per se, it's a feast. Large tables full with food, musicians in the corner, people chatting and drinking, then when they get drunk sometimes dancing and… some fist-fights… and all that,' Gabriel explained. 'I have to be there, but you don't have to come if you're not feeling up to it.'

Dean thought about it. 'Actually, it might do me some good to get out a little… and food is a pretty great motivator.'

'Oh trust me, awesome food and desserts.'

'Pie?'

'Mmmaybe,' Gabriel smiled knowingly.

'Okay, why not… I really need to get my mind off of things. This sounds like just the thing that can help me.'

'Alright, awesome!' Gabriel beamed. 'Pack a bag and I'll make breakfast.'

'A bag?'

'Yeah, I told you… it's the weekend,' Gabriel said.

'The whole weekend?' Dean asked in surprise. 'I thought it was a one night thing.'

'Nope… we can have breakfast, take a shower, then jump in the car and go. We're gonna stay till Sunday evening.'

'Oh, wow… okay… road-trip and a feast…' he thought about it. 'That sounds even better actually.' It's been so long since he managed to take the Impala to a longer ride, way too long. Now that the prospect was in front of him, he was eager to let the engine roar and get out of town. He didn't even realise how much he missed doing that (gas was expensive after all, he couldn't afford spontaneous road-trips for a long time).

Gabriel grinned, then rolled out of bed to head to the kitchen. Dean went to take a shower. He actually had a good feeling about this.

x-x-x

Dean never wondered why he never saw Gabriel's car before. He was pretty sure he was a cab kinda guy after a while, but now he knew better. Gabriel didn't need a car with his fancy magic keys in his pocket. They didn't even need to drive right now, but Dean recognized it for what it was. Gabriel knew he liked driving, so they drove instead of using magic doors. It already did wonders to Dean's mood. As soon as they were out of the city and on the long road, he felt a lot more alive. His head was clearing out and his spirit was lifting. Music was coming from the speakers and the windows were rolled down letting in fresh spring air. Gabriel was stretched out on the other side of the front seat, all leisure limbs and easy smile, sunglasses on his nose while wind swept through his golden hair. Yes, Dean felt positively good about this.

'So… am I gonna see some familiar faces?' Dean asked.

'Oh yeah, plenty. You met a lot of them in the shop.'

'Some won't like me then.'

'Now why would you think that?'

'Well, the kind of bitchfaces they pulled when I didn't give them their packages without payment upfront, were spectacular.'

Gabriel laughed.

'Nah, quite the opposite. If you would've been stupid enough to believe them, _then_ they would dislike you. You were smart, smart is sexy.' He turned towards him and wiggled his eyebrows.

Dean kept his eyes on the road for a moment, not knowing how to react for a second. Out of all the things he's been complimented on in his life, "smart" was definitely not one of them. He's had "hot" and "pretty" or "strong", sometimes even "brave" or back in the day "nice", but never "smart" or anything like it.

'What's going on behind that pretty face of yours, Dean-o?' Gabriel asked after a moment.

'Nothing,' Dean replied. It didn't matter. Gabriel sometimes complimented him on the weirdest things. Like "easily expanding mind" or "You have heart", whatever those were supposed to mean. Sometimes he went into details, like he listed his favourite things; the freckles on Dean's nose or the curve of his lips, or his long thick eyelashes. With anyone else, Dean would've been annoyed. He's been called "girly" or "delicate" way too many times when he was younger. It was a nightmare, to deal with his "girly looks" and his sexual preferences at the same time. Especially, since his father was a traditional big manly macho guy. His Dad was no close-minded thug, he was more than liberal enough in most things, but he was still a role model Dean couldn't live up to, no matter how much he tried. He wished he could've just sat down with his Dad and talked to him about everything honestly, just once before he died. Dean never was completely "in the closet" per se, but it was also not something anyone talked about in his family. They all had a mutual "don't ask, don't tell" thing going on. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how much he was not okay with that. He wished he could've told them that.

'You wanted to clear your head and relax, remember?' Gabriel said suddenly.

'I am,' Dean replied.

'Riiight… That's why I see that big frown on your face then.'

'Sorry.'

'You don't need to apologize, bucko. I just want you to enjoy yourself, just relax and get your mind off of things.'

'I'm trying,' Dean said. He did try, his mind just went back to his family constantly.

'Would a blowjob help?' Gabriel asked simply. Dean congratulated himself for keeping the car steady.

'You serious?'

'Yeah sure,' shrugged Gabriel. 'Pull over.'

Dean looked at him and well, look at that, he definitely looked serious, so he pulled over as soon as he could. Gabriel was on him a split second later.

x-x-x

Dean was considerably more relaxed by the time they arrived to their destination in the early afternoon (the blowjob helped a lot with that, and Gabriel looked way too pleased with himself because of it). They didn't drive that far from St. Louis, just a little over 200 miles, they didn't leave the state though, even if the south state line was close. In the end they were far away from any form of civilization. The last town Dean saw was a while back and this house (huge enormous house) was out in a forest in the middle of nowhere. If he didn't trust Gabriel he would be suspicious by now. It looked like such a perfect horror movie location, especially with the thick woods around them.

The place itself was not ominous though, it would've been hard for it to look actually scary with all the newly blooming flowers on the ground and on the trees everywhere. Their scent was heavy and pleasant in the air. Dean liked March, it was not cold, but still cool and crispy and if the sun was shining it was absolutely perfect. He could wear his favourite leather jackets without being either too cold or too hot, and it didn't rain as much as in the fall. Seriously, best month in the year.

The Impala was not the only car parked on the pebbled front yard, she was most definitely the best looking one though. The other cars were either small coupes or trucks, all of them old. Dean felt pride bubbling up in his chest as he compared his baby to the rest, she was a true beauty that was for sure.

'You want me to leave you two alone?' Gabriel asked teasingly after Dean stared at his car for way too long. Dean just gave him a look and got his bag out of the car.

'You didn't bring a bag,' Dean realized as he looked at Gabriel.

'No need, I got clothes here.'

'You own this place?' Dean asked.

'Partially… me and some others.' Dean looked at the giant wooden house again.

'That's awesome,' he admitted.

They walked up the pathway towards the house with nothing but the sound of birds chirping in the distance as company. It was pleasant. It reminded Dean of his childhood, when he would join his Dad on his hunting trips to South Dakota, he could never get himself to shoot a deer, but it was fun nonetheless. By the time Sammy was old enough to go with them his Dad stopped going to hunting trips. He got into an argument with his friend Bobby, and he was too stubborn to go back and talk to him again. Dean wasn't even sure if Bobby knew his Dad was dead, maybe he should go to South Dakota sometime and visit the man, he liked him when he was a kid.

Just before they could walk up the stairs to the porch, the house's front door banged open and a dark-haired woman dashed outside.

'Loki!' she shouted with a bright smile and leaped down the stairs jumping on Gabriel and enveloping him in a giant hug. Gabriel was fast enough to catch her and wrap his arms around her to keep her up and stop them from falling. Dean blinked at the scene in surprise, how she was clinging to Gabriel tightly, obviously overjoyed to see him. Gabriel looked somewhere between happy and slightly irritated, which was an interesting combination. Then Dean's thoughts suddenly ground to a halt.

Did she just call him _Loki_?

'Alright… okay… you're happy… that's enough,' Gabriel spoke up after a moment and put her down to the ground. She let go of him easily enough, her dark curls bouncing as she moved. They looked at each other for another moment then both of them turned towards Dean who had a frown on his face.

'Sooo… here's the lucky boy,' she stated, looking him over.

'Be nice,' Gabriel told her.

'Always,' she answered. Dean had a hundred questions in his mind all of a sudden, most of them about the chick standing way inside Gabriel's personal space, but he pushed those questions aside. He was good at focusing on important things after all, and one question was louder in his head than all the others.

'Did she just call you "Loki"?' he asked, still frowning. There might've been a lot of things he did not know about the world, especially about all this magical-supernatural crazy train, but that name he knew. Seriously, who didn't?

The dark-haired woman looked at him for another moment, unreadable expression on her face. 'Ooooh…. I'm sorry,' she said glancing at Gabriel. She didn't sound that apologetic though, not even a little bit.

'Just get back inside,' Gabriel told her and she did. Dark locks bouncing again as she hurried up the stairs and went back inside.

Gabriel took a large breath then stepped closer and took Dean's hand, tugging him away from the stairs, following the path leading to the back of the house.

'Gabriel-' Dean started.

'I'll explain it all, but we better just sit down and-' Dean stopped and Gabriel was forced to stop too because of it. He turned back and looked at Dean.

'I'm not moving until you answer this: Are you Loki?' he asked.

'Dean-'

'I'm serious, are you… some sort of god? Immortal creature… or whatever the proper "magic-world" term is?' He waited for a moment, Gabriel still hesitated. 'Are you Loki?!'

'Yes!' he answered finally. 'Yes, I am.' He repeated.

Dean looked at him. A god… a real flesh and blood deity… something… not human… that was just… he really needed a moment.

'I want to tell you… will you listen?' Gabriel – Loki – asked.

It took a moment for Dean to answer, but then he nodded. 'Yeah… okay.' Gabriel smiled a little at that and started walking again, not letting go of Dean's hand.

He followed because… he was so alone before… and he owed him so much… so he could listen.

x-x-x


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

x-x-x

'Why didn't you tell me? When I asked what you were?'

'It's not as simple as that, Dean,' Gabriel started. 'I would've told you… in time. Giving out a true name has a weight to it.'

'It's not like your name is a secret.'

'No,' Gabriel chuckled. 'But it's one thing to know a name of a character in a story, or a name of some godly being you just heard about somewhere, and another to be able to say a true name and being able to picture my appearance as well.'

'You didn't trust me.'

'I don't trust anyone easily,' Gabriel smiled wistfully. 'And I thought the big magic revelation was huge enough for one day. I would've told you eventually…this is not easy for me either. I don't normally get this close to humans… I just don't. You're like mayflies… gone in a blink, it's… I don't do this. It's messy, it's complicated, it's painful… I… really try not to do this.'

'Why am I different then?'

'You just are,' Gabriel answered, offering no other explanation.

'So… should I call you… Loki… from now on?' Dean asked.

'No… Gabriel is fine, I've been using it for centuries, I've grown fond of it.'

'A god…' Dean shook his head in disbelief.

'Don't think too much of it.'

'How could I not? You're a freakin' _god_!' Dean exclaimed.

'Let me tell you a story,' Gabriel said, reaching out to touch his hand again.

'Okay,' Dean nodded and settled down to listen.

x-x-x

_Once upon a time…_ (Seriously? You're gonna start it like that?... Shut up, Dean. Just listen.) …_Once upon a time there was a powerful god, who lived at the top of the coldest, darkest mountains of the North. He didn't know he was a god, he didn't even know what a god was. He was the air, the bright blue sky; he was quick like the wind and smart like a fox, but cold just like the icy cliffs around him. He was also very-very bored all the time, and very-very lonely. The mountain animals were not really interesting and one could only chase around the storms so many times before even that became dull._

_So there was this smart, powerful __god _(With a huge ego…. Seriously Dean, shut it, let me talk.) _with nothing in the world to do. So one day he ventured down from the high icy cliffs to see what else was in the world. He wandered for a long time, but finally he found something interesting. He found someone that felt very similar to him. He didn't look like him and he was not swift as the wind or smart as a fox, but he felt similar. He also found small things, small and warm like the mountain animals. The small things were singing praises for the other god and brought gifts upon gifts on a large stone, for him no doubt. The god from the icy mountains stared for a while then went closer, because he was not just quick and smart, but also very curious. _

'_Why do they bring you gifts?' he asked. _

'_I'm their god,' the other answered. 'They praise me and love me and sing for me.'_

_That sounded really nice, and the little ones looked like fun too, a lot more exciting than the mountain animals._

'_Would they sing for me too?' he asked. The other laughed._

'_They must know you and love you before that.'_

'_How do I do that?'_

'_You must be one of the gods first.'_

'_You feel similar, so I already must be one.'_

'_You do, you do, indeed you must be,' said the bright god. 'Maybe we're even long lost brothers.' The god had no idea what a brother was, but he didn't object._

'_If I'm your brother will they sing for me?'_

'_You will be one of the gods then.'_

'_I am your brother then,' he told the other god. _

'_By The Nine, you are then! Come here and drink with me brother! I am Odin, The Mighty God of War and Magic, what is your name?' _

'_My name?'_

'_You have no name? The humans won't sing you praises then!'_

'_Why not?'_

'_They must name you first, how else would you know whether a song is for you or some other god?'_

_The god from the icy cliffs thought about that for a moment. Yes, he would not know if they were singing for him, if they couldn't call his name. He needed one then._

'_How do I get them to name me?' he asked Odin. _

'_You must show them you're here, that you have power, show them what you can do! Warriors praise me for my strength, so that they may be strong and victorious in battle, they praise me for my wisdom, so that they may be wise themselves, they call my name when they start a hunt, in hope to kill the mightiest beasts.'_

'_I see,' the god mused. He did not know what to show, but he was fast like the wind and smart like a fox, so he went to think and figure something out._

_He watched the little ones for a long time, thinking about what to show so that they would sing for him too. He watched the other gods too, but soon realised that he didn't have powers like most of them. He couldn't control the storms or coax nurslings out of the ground, he was no warrior either. So he was just watching and thinking, but not really knowing what to do._

_One day he saw children for the first time, small and joyful, chasing each other like he always chased the storms. They were entertaining, even more so than the bigger humans. Then suddenly one of them started to cry, so the god went closer to look what was happening. An older boy was running away with a toy clutched in his hand, while a little girl was running after him, crying and pleading, tears streaming down her face. The god didn't like the sound, laughter was much better. So as he was fast as the wind and clever as a fox he swiftly moved after the boy and used the wind to smack him in the face with a twig. The boy stumbled and dropped the toy and the little girl quickly ran and picked it up from the ground. 'Served you right,' she told the boy sticking out her tongue, then she let out a small bubbling laugh and she ran away, pleased at having her toy back. The god decided that yes, this was something he could do. So he did._

_He didn't bother with the adults; the children were a lot more fun. Whenever crying or angry shouting caught his ears he went to see what was happening and if some of the children were naughty, they soon found themselves stumbling on a root or a rock. He never hurt them much though. It was just a bit of fun really, just a bit of a reminder, just to show them that they did something that hurt others. Then he became a bit more creative, naughty children accidentally sat down on an ant hill or a bug crawled down their clothes. He enjoyed his small pranks and most of the time it turned tears into smiles and crying into laughter, so it was well. Time went on with the god playing his tricks and pranks, and then it happened… _

'_No, stop it! If you're bad Loptr's gonna get you!'_

_It took some time for him to realise that it was him they talked about. They named him. They called him "Air"… he really had a name at last._

_First it was only children, but soon those children grew up and have not forgotten about him. Mothers chided their children, warning them that Loptr would play mean tricks on them if they didn't behave. The more they talked about him, the more they called to him, the more he felt a change happening. He started to look like the other gods, he could have a solid body, real arms and legs, he had a face and a mouth, and eyes to see everything with more clarity. And he was also growing stronger and stronger. After a while he could do a lot more than just move some rocks and twigs, he could take any shape he wanted and swim with the fish or fly with the birds, he could run in the deep forests like the clever fox he was. He was ever-changing like the winds._

_He went back to search for his brother and found him easily. He welcomed him with open arms at is table and Loptr truly became one of them._

_As time went on, not only the children started to call to him, but everyone else too. But while children didn't want all that much, adults were different. Naughty children stole toys or food from others, pulled other's hair or hit those who were weaker, but adults… now that Loptr had to turn his sight away from the children to pay attention to everyone… he saw evil. He saw blood and murder, he saw pain, he saw endless tears, he saw cruel violence, and destruction._

_The bad needed to be punished, needed to be reminded that what they did hurt others, that was Loptr's task, so he did exactly that. The bigger the crime, the bigger the punishment followed, and Loptr was still smart as a fox, so he always found the right punishment. And when parents cried for vengeance on the murderer of their child, when brothers swore revenge for their fallen kin, and especially when there was no one to cry, no one to grieve, Loptr was there to punish the wicked ones for all the crimes they committed. And people cried and people cursed, and prayed for the cruel, the greedy, the jealous, and the wicked to be punished. And when there was no longer just laughter in his wake, but also blood and death… people no longer called him the air, he was still ever-changing, but not like the wind, not anymore. He was like the burning flame… he was Loki. Loki the Icy Wind, Loki the Dark Fire, Loki the Wanderer, Loki the Sky Traveller, Loki the Trickster with the silver tongue, Loki the Deceiver, Loki the Destroyer, Loki the Sly One, Loki the Clever, they called him all and many other names, almost too many to count._

_Some praised him, some feared him, but all knew him, and he grew strong. People always wanted revenge, always wanted vengeance, always wanted to believe that evil will be punished, so Loki was their revenge, Loki was their vengeance, Loki was who punished them. That was his task and he accepted that. He did something good after all, or so he believed. He became one of the strongest of all the gods who walked the Earth. He became a true master of magic with power over all things, he was great and mighty and that remained so for many-many years to come._

x-x-x


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

x-x-x

'So what happened then?' Dean asked.

'Yeah, it would've been great if it ended like that,' Gabriel said wistfully. 'What happened is called "Christianity".'

'So…?'

'People slowly, but surely started to forget about us… me included,' Gabriel told him. 'And what Odin did not tell me, what he himself maybe did not know, that when humans name us, they own us. I was fine on my own, a bit bored maybe, but fine. I was not strong, but I was also not weak. After I got my name and people started to truly believe in me, call to me, talk about me, even pray to me, I became powerful… and as they stopped, and as they forgot, I became weaker. We all did.'

'That sucks.'

'More than a little. At first we didn't worry too much. What can happen, right? So what if we all became a bit weaker, it's not like we don't have place for a new god among us, right? Only… some started to disappear, vanish like they never existed in the first place… forgotten. When a god is forgotten by humanity, they cease to exist, and we watched how the smaller deities vanished one by one… then the guardian gods, whose sacred places were renamed after saints and angels… and then even the mightier gods started to fade. For the first time in our existence, we learned what true fear was.'

'You're still here,' Dean said quietly.

'Oh yes, bless Marvel Comics.'

'What?' Dean frowned in surprise.

'I'll get to that,' Gabriel promised with a little smirk. 'The thing is… none of us old gods are what we used to be… well except the Hindu Pantheon… they're strong and mighty as ever, but mainly just in India. There are still some gods back on the old continent, who exist thanks to small communities that still remember them, but most of us? Hello United States of America.'

'Why?'

'A) Neo-pagans and B) Entertainment Industry.'

'I don't follow,' Dean admitted.

'Our power comes from people. Picture it like… we're the windshield cleaner homeless guys on a crowded highway crossing, basically fighting each other, everyone trying to get to the windshield to wash it, but mostly everyone is ignored by the drivers. If people know you, you have power, the more people know you, talk about you, call your name, or the best of it all pray, more power you get. If they forget you, you lose all that power and if nobody remembers you, you're gone… poof.'

'So you don't have people believing in you elsewhere, but you got some here?'

'I'm a special case… I still have some true Lokeans here and there, but my main power-source is well… geeks, mostly… and kids! Always the kids with me, I should've stuck with them in the first place, gotta love them.'

'Huh?'

'Comic books, Dean-o. Some very lovely men back in 1949 decided that I would be an awesome comic book villain… it sounds ridiculous, I know… the other old gods are constantly trying to make fun of me and Thor because of it, but they're just jealous. The truth is… I would be a lot weaker if it wasn't for this, hell, maybe I would be long gone from this world.'

'But it's not like they actually believe you're real.'

'But they call me by my name properly, they call me a god, they use my other names… I'm not forgotten, I exist in people's minds and hearts. I doubt I'm going to be ever forgotten with the amount of manic enthusiasm these comic fans are showing,' he laughed a little. 'It's not real worship, obviously, but it's a lot better than nothing. And the children, well, some of them actually believe when they're young, at least for a few years.'

'Okay, so you get the… juice, even if it's not exactly you… I mean the comics…'

'I _know_, I'm a lot more handsome in real life,' he grinned widely. 'And I have a lot better taste. I mean… have you looked at those horns? Why would I wear those? Completely impractical.'

'And are there other gods around still?'

'Absolutely, most are a lot weaker, but they're around.'

'They still do stuff for… people then, right?'

'Now and then, yes.'

'I could've just… prayed…? Just prayed to the right god and maybe I could've saved-'

'Dean, no… don't do this to yourself… I doubt anyone would've been able to help… or you wouldn't have liked the price.'

'I wouldn't have cared about the price.'

'I know, but… believe me when I say that most of us are too weak to be anything but a little more than human. Hell, I am one of the strongest who's still around and even I couldn't have done it. I don't even have the skill set. I'm not a healer or a saviour. I'm a trickster, I screw with people who deserve it, that's who I am. I help out now and then… but I can't work miracles, none of us can do miracles… not anymore. Back in the day, I felt like I had all the power of the universe in my fingertips… I could've moved mountains with a snap of my fingers. I could do whatever I wanted… not anymore. Not ever again I guess.'

'But… you're still a god.'

'Yes, but you know what I can do mostly? Ask the right ones for things… ask a favour here, collect a dept there, I can bargain with artefacts and potions. I'm the one who can find such things in the first place… I can ask my friends to help out, but not even they can do miracles… they can maybe, give a job to someone who really needs it.'

'So Nansi's a god too?'

'Yes, he is. He's got a lot of his mojo back thanks to some books… mainly. Actually, most of the special costumers you've met are gods.'

'I had a feeling you're gonna say that.'

'Oh and Lakshmi of course… remember her?'

'Yeah, hard to forget.'

'She's a special case again… she's absolutely powerful in India, people worship her daily, but luckily, the awesome thing about Hindu gods is that they can send their avatars all over the globe. She's a goddess of wealth and she _loooves_ to mess with insurance companies over here.'

'Getting people's money back you mean.'

'Oh yes,' Gabriel smiled. 'I mean, most of the time she only helps out her own people, but she's easy to convince to help out in other places. And I spent quite a few years among them, so I managed to get a few friends there.'

'Thanks for that again,' Dean said.

'Don't mention it. She enjoys giving money to people. Burn her some incense or something, she's gonna be pleased about that.'

'And what about… God… y'know… the big guy,' Dean asked. 'There are like millions of Christians everywhere… he must be really powerful then.'

Gabriel snorted.

'I bet he is… but the thing is… he's still unnamed, so it's not worth shit.'

'How's that?'

'Humans call him God or Lord or Father, saying his name is "too holy" to be spoken by humans or some other nonsense like that… but there are dozens of gods who were called the same at one point or another… and it doesn't matter how much people believe in him… he's probably still just a big pile of astral energy with basically no influence on the physical world whatsoever. If he would be named, he could interfere, not like this. He's the big strong nameless one watching from above, not really able to do anything directly.'

'Angels?'

'You think I could get away with calling myself Gabriel if there was some terrifying, cloud-hopping, heavenly archangel out there? Pff… please. Most of the "angels" people met were either gods, or other supernatural creatures… sometimes mages.'

'That's… a lot… to take in,' Dean said, running a hand down his face.

'So… mad at me?' Gabriel asked in a light careful tone.

'I'm coming to terms with the fact that you're not human,' Dean said. Gabriel nodded at that.

'I have one more thing to tell you.' He said a moment later.

'If you actually don't even look human I am going to have to drink myself into a coma.'

'Nah, no worries, I'm a full-blown anthropomorphic god. Nansi's an animal spirit deity though, care to guess?'

'Spider?'

'That must've been really hard to figure out, right?' Gabriel laughed.

'Yeah, so what is that last thing?'

Gabriel took a breath and ran his fingers through his hair.

'I sort of… knew you… before I walked up to you in that bar,' he said. Dean's face hardened just a little bit, his eyes focused on Gabriel. 'I didn't actually _knew_ you per se… it just wasn't the first time I saw you.' Dean didn't say anything, so Gabriel continued. 'A few years ago I went to visit my good friend Coyote, he's a trickster like me, but also a death god, so you can usually find him in morgues. He's really good at coaxing spirits over to the other side even if they don't really want to go.'

'So I was looking for Coyote…' he continued after a brief pause. 'But I stumbled upon you.' Dean frowned. 'You didn't see me. You were down… in the hospital morgue, you surely remember that.'

'Yeah,' Dean said quietly, then he cleared his throat, and looked away, his face turning grim.

'One brother grieving for another…' Gabriel continued in a very quiet tone. 'I'm not going to lie, that's something I saw many times before. Your pain and your guilt, your tears and your despair greeted me like old friends. It was something I knew all too well. I meant to just turn around and go, but… I remained there for a while. It was so familiar, looking at you. I suddenly had the old urge to find who was responsible and make them pay for their crime, but there was no murderer, no wicked evil to punish. I never paid attention to those who died in accidents or in sickness or natural causes, never listened to the cries of those who lost someone like that, because there was nobody to punish for it, right? I thought about it for a bit, what I could do… but in the end I walked away. Not my job, you see. Not meant for my skill set.'

Gabriel looked away then, his golden gaze taking in the sight of the thick forest around them.

'I didn't look for you. Meeting you there, was accidental… well, as much as I believe in accidents, which is not much. I walked into that bar, looked around, and recognised you.' A small smile graced his lips and he turned back to look at the young man sitting across from him. 'First I reminded myself, that you're not in the job description, but then I watched you drown drink after drink, looking just as miserable as years ago and I said to myself; "screw it". It's not like I'm not smart like a fox, right? I can get someone to feel better even if there's nobody to punish. I can damn well do anything I want.'

'So you knew about my family all along,' Dean concluded.

'I knew that you lost a brother, I didn't search for the details,' Gabriel answered.

'So this… everything was just… a part of your plan… just some godly aid for poor miserable me?'

'No… that was me buying you a drink with the intention of making you feel better… there was no plan.'

'Says the trickster.'

'Dean, look at me.' He did. Gabriel slid closer to him to put a hand on the side of his neck, to keep his attention on him.

'We belong together now… I meant that. If you would be a random human I perform some sort of godly duties on, you would have never even seen me. I am the air, the ever-changing wind, I am always invisible unless I want to be seen. And I wanted you to see me.'

Dean stared at him for long moments and when Gabriel leaned closer to kiss him, he did not pull away, but parted his lips and welcomed the warm feel of it.

x-x-x

It was ridiculous, but they somehow got stuck outside sitting on the wooden bench they chose to sit on to talk. On top of that they made out like horny teenagers for probably hours, and seriously, Dean wasn't sure if he ever kissed someone for such a long time without it turning into sex. Dean felt himself calm down and relax once again as Gabriel showered his lips in affection, then his neck, sometimes his ear.

So he was a god… it could be worse. He could be like… a vampire, yeah, that sparkly douche-y stalker-y kind, that would be much worse. Or he could be like… hell, he could be just a normal asshole human junky criminal or something along that line. Out of all the things someone could reveal as a "big secret", the "I'm a god" one was pretty good. He was also one the cooler gods – as far as Dean could tell – not like say… the Greek ones, he didn't know all that much about them either, but he could recall "eating my kids", "sewing my baby in my thigh" and "turning into animals to rape mortals" stories from the top of his head, so yeah Norse Trickster God, much better. He's definitely gonna google him though, just to refresh his memory, he could ask him what was true and what was just weird stories too. Gabriel knew about him almost everything there was to know, so it was only fair for him to know more about 'Loki'. And he wanted to know.

He pulled away from Gabriel and looked at him. His lips were red and swollen, his pupils wider than usual, his eyes burning, and yeah Dean wanted to know. He was sure. He realised that he was okay, gods and magic and all that crap included, he was okay with it, it was fine. He dared to think about what that meant; that he was definitely in for the long haul.

'What is it?' Gabriel asked.

Dean just shook his head slowly and smiled. It was but a small smile, a slight curve of lips, but Gabriel stared like he just found the most precious thing in the whole world and kissed the smile with a laugh and so much warmth and happiness that it almost took Dean's breath away.

x-x-x


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten – Epilogue

x-x-x

Just another day in The Den. Not even quite boring, although no day was boring since the Ostara Feast. Now that all the gods and spirits (and everyone else) got the memo that Dean knew the truth, they stopped being careful around him. It also meant that Dean finally knew what the red door was actually for, because every second god came through that one and not the physical entrance. Dean still called it "The Magic Door", because he sure as hell didn't care about fancy technical terms.

The green door was still locked all the time and Mr. Nansi explained that they used to use it the same way as the red one before "the wench" decided to camp on the other side of it to ruin Nansi's business. Dean asked what that was about, but Nansi's only answer was that birds always hunt for spiders. Dean was absolutely sure there was more to it than that, but he didn't ask about it. He also didn't fail to notice how Nansi would get into rants about how birds were the meanest, most evil creatures on Earth. "Flying rats" he called them. Dean told him penguins were cute, to which Nansi gave him the stink eye, then grudgingly admitted that penguins didn't hunt for spiders, so they were not all bad. He also told him that "the wench" – he really never called her by her name – was lucky that Groot or Lucy didn't get hurt because of her little annoying prank, he would've hunted her down then.

'I got hurt,' Dean remarked. Not much, but still, he was the only one who got scratches and bruises because of it.

Nansi just smirked at him. 'And I'm sure Mr. Loge paid her a visit for that,' he said. Dean really didn't wanna know the details.

He also got a magic key from Gabriel, which he liked for sure, but didn't use all that much. He still loved to drive his baby thank you very much, he was not gonna leave her to gather dust. Gabriel just smiled and told him to keep it for emergency. Dean was also pretty sure that the magic key was gifted to him after the Ostara Feast because of the chick with the bouncing black locks. Sigyn, as it turned out, ex-wife. Dean gave a long look to Gabriel after that little piece of information got out, a look that told the god loud and clearly that he was gonna have to grovel for this one. First weekend trip together and they went to a party that had Gabriel's ex-wife at it. It was not a problem, Dean had way enough drama that week already to not make a big deal out of it, and after accepting Gabriel's godhood, some smiley bouncy ex-wife was not going to get in his way. And if they had loud dirty sex in their room that night, which was probably heard by all guests – including pretty petite ex-wives with big eyes – that was just a bit of fun, and not Dean going possessive alpha male on his lover, not at all. It was a pretty spectacular night.

Today, Gabriel seemingly had nothing to do, so he spent his whole day with him in the shop. It was okay, Dean liked having him around even if he did nothing, but perched on the counter and ate candy all day. His very presence made him feel lighter, plus Gabriel was okay with telling stories of old to him when there were no costumers inside and they had time for it. Dean learned to smile again… slowly, gradually, but he did, somehow. It happened more frequently as time went by and Gabriel's stories were plenty amusing, so that helped too. Laughter was still something absent, but sometimes Dean felt like he was close to it, like it was just there below the surface wanting to bubble up. Gabriel told him that he was healing, finally. Dean nodded and kissed him. He was learning how to live again and Gabriel was a great teacher.

The red door opened with its usual strange whoosh sound and Dean looked up as a dark-haired guy in a long coat walked in.

'Cas!' Gabriel exclaimed cheerfully, hopping down from the counter. The other looked at him and started walking closer.

'Loki,' he greeted solemnly. His voice was deep and gravelly, even deeper than Nansi's.

'Nobody is calling me that nowadays,' Gabriel remarked, then he turned back towards the counter. 'Cas, this is Dean, Dean, this is my old friend Cas AKA Ocasta AKA Stonecoat, God of Knowledge and a bunch of other boring things.'

'Hi!' Dean waved.

'I would appreciate if you wouldn't give out my name to every mortal,' Cas chided the shorter god.

'He's not just any mortal!' Gabriel objected, his voice high with fake indignation. 'He's my Dean!' Like that explained everything. But Dean liked it whenever he said it like that. 'My human companion,' Gabriel added after the god just frowned at him.

'Ah, I see, my apologies. Very nice to meet you, Dean.' The god – undoubtedly a god since Gabriel only called gods "old friends" – turned fully towards Dean now, his eyes were blue and piercing. They had a very familiar weight to them. This god still had power, just like Gabriel.

'Yeah, likewise,' he said. Ever since Gabriel told him about the whole old gods deal Dean had taken up the habit to google and read about all kinds of gods, especially those who were likely to show up in Nansi's shop at one point or another. It took him a moment, but then this one's name finally clicked something in his brain. 'Stonecoat, huh? Shouldn't you look more… native?' he asked. The Native Gods were regulars, and all of them looked, well… Native American, but this dude had fair white skin, black hair and bright blue eyes, there was nothing Native about him.

'Nah, Cas is a special case,' Gabriel interrupted as he climbed back on the counter again. 'He tends to die… a lot… then he comes back to life. What were you last time? Oh yes, a blonde pre-teen girl.'

'You're a shapeshifter, surely it is nothing strange for you.'

Gabriel chuckled. 'Yeah, you got me there,' he said. 'Anyways, Cas dies and then comes back to life, but every time he looks different,' he explained to Dean. 'Once upon a time, very-very long ago, he definitely looked like the other Natives.'

'I looked like that several times over the past centuries.'

'Okay, but why do you… die in the first place?' Dean asked.

'Sacrifice,' Cas answered. 'In order to gain knowledge one must sacrifice, the greater knowledge you crave, greater sacrifice is needed.'

'In other words… Cas dies to give humans knowledge… usually big stuff.'

'Wow that's really… nice… and awful dude, that sucks, why would you do that?'

Cas looked at him and tilted his head like a curious bird, like he didn't comprehend the question.

'It's what I do,' he said.

'Yeah but… doesn't it like… hurt or something?'

'Obviously,' the god said with a tiny secret smile. 'But it does not matter.'

'So you just die… for humans… to give them knowledge?' Dean asked again, to clarify it again.

'Yes.'

'And you don't mind.' The god just tilted his head again, even more confused look on his face.

'Don't try to decipher this one Dean-o,' Gabriel said. 'We are what we do, if we didn't do it we wouldn't exist.'

'Yeah, I get that, it's just… seems unfair, I mean who deserves to have a god dying for them anyway?' He couldn't imagine what kind of humans would be important enough for that.

'You all do,' Cas replied simply and Dean just looked at him for a long moment and he knew that he meant it. It was unbelievable, but he meant it, and for a moment Dean stared silently, taken aback by the absolute conviction he heard in those words.

'People don't really believe in you nowadays either, do they?' he asked.

'No, I can't say they do,' the other replied, but not with anger or sadness, but just gently stating a fact.

'Well, that's a damn shame,' Dean said, scratching the back of his neck. 'You already seem a lot better than the one they teach about in Sunday school.'

'Thank you,' the god said, nodding his head a little.

'I… get you your package,' Dean said and headed back.

'Weird black feather,' Gabriel called after him. Which was good, Dean wouldn't have been able to guess that symbol.

Cas already slid his own box across the counter, so Dean didn't go back behind the counter just gave him his when he got back. The blue-eyed god looked at it for a moment, then he nodded his head again.

'Thank you both, fare well.' He turned around swiftly, his long beige overcoat billowing behind him, then he left through the red door where he came from.

'Well, at least I know there are nice gods out there too,' Dean said.

'I'm nice,' Gabriel replied.

'You're a trickster, and a giant dick even on a good day.' Gabriel laughed delightedly in reaction to that and leaned over the counter with a grin to give him a good smack on the lips.

'Don't think in black and white,' the god said after he let go of Dean. 'Cas may be nice, but he's not the goody two-shoes he looks like.' Dean frowned.

'How so?'

'He gives knowledge, yes, but he gives knowledge indiscriminately,' Gabriel explained. 'And he doesn't really care what people use that knowledge for.'

'Oh.'

'Ever heard the phrase that "Science is a cold hearted bitch"?' he asked. 'This is kinda the case here. Knowledge is knowledge, even if it's knowledge that could give you nightmares.' Gabriel shrugged. 'Cas is just as much in the grey area as I am.'

'It all comes down to humans in the end then.'

'Always,' Gabriel added. 'We might've been great and mighty, but it's you, who matter in the end. That is just how the world works.'

'Not sure it's fair,' Dean said. 'Usually the bigger you are or the stronger, smarter, you have more control of things… you are all bigger than us, but we have the power in our hands. It's just… doesn't seem fair.'

'Trust me you wouldn't want to be the gods' plaything, like the way the world used to be before.'

Dean walked closer to Gabriel and the god pulled him in. Dean easily slid between his legs.

'Am I not your plaything then?' he asked.

'You're a lot more than that,' Gabriel said and pulled him in for another kiss. It was soft and quick, but pleasant nonetheless. 'Besides,' Gabriel continued after their kiss ended. 'We may seem bigger to you… but maybe you humans are simply just bigger on the inside.'

Dean narrowed his eyes.

'Are you quoting Doctor Who at me?'

'My power comes from geeks, it was bound to affect me eventually. I should set up an altar at Comic Con.' Gabriel said. And those words combined with the look on Gabriel's face did it. That laughter Dean felt waiting, growing, wanting to burst out just below the surface finally escaped his mouth. He was laughing, he was actually laughing and he couldn't stop.

He wasn't sure why the tears he felt burning his eyes were there. Maybe he was just laughing too hard, but maybe it was relief. Relief at something finally uncoiling inside of him, something that was cold and painful for a very long time and now it loosened up. Maybe it was both, he didn't care. He just rested his forehead on Gabriel's shoulder, not even trying to get his breathing under control and let the god pet his hair and hold him in his arms.

For the first time in years, he felt okay. For the first time in years he felt alive. Years of living in a cold dark night, but finally at last it was morning again. A new day rose with his own wild burning light showing him a brand new sky. He learned to live again and he learned to love again and he never wanted to turn back or run away, even if he knew that this was a one way road. No, he didn't mind that at all. He was okay.

x-x-x

**-= THE END =-**


End file.
